PDA. Public displays of affection. As long as I can remember, PDA has never sat well with me. I remember in middle school, my friend Will and I would spot couples that were all over each other during passing time and blast ear-piercing whistles to make them equally uncomfortable. It wasn't very mature, I'll admit that. But this Saturday made me wish I had that whistle strapped around my neck.
I went out to the same wine bar in Santa Monica as I did last weekend. I was already drunk from watching the football games earlier and I didn't particularly want to go out, but peer pressure can be a bitch.
The bar was absolutely ridiculous. After splitting a bottle of wine, our party sat on the couches and my observation of my surroundings began:
It was as if it was Spring Break in Cabo. It's a beer and wine bar, yet there is a good crowd on the "dance floor" bumpin' & grindin' to a horrible techno/rap remix of Outfield's "Your Love". One couple is blatantly making out. We're talking hands down each other's jean pockets while simultaneously shoving tongues down each other's throats making out.
A girl we went to the bar with instantly had three guys trying to dance with her. Within minutes of going on the dance floor, she is making out with one of the trio. Does this get the other two to stop dancing with her? Absolutely not. The Alpha male has his arms wrapped around her waist whispering to her and the other two are still dancing on either side of her! I couldn't believe it. I think I actually looked up at the ceiling and said out loud, "Why am I here?"
Which brings me to... why? Seriously. Why? Why not spare us all your dry-humping escapades and stay at home with your boyfriend/girlfriend? And if you just met her/him that night, GO HOME. Isn't that the whole point anyway? I'm sure at least one of you had to pay cover to get in here and at least $8 for a shitty, watered-down beverage. You'd be saving gas money, cover, overpriced drinks and you could probably go straight to jamming down in the comfort of your own home ("den" might actually be the more appropriate word). No one I have ever come across in my 24 years on this Earth has ever said, "You know what happened last night? It was amazing! I got to watch this couple totally go at it on the dance floor! You have to check it out next time."
So please, PDA couples. Stay home. Do your business there. The rest of the bar-visitng population will be forever grateful.