An hour before I was supposed to leave for the party on Saturday, a mini-battle was raging in my head.
"If I go alone, it's going to be extremely awkward. I'm not going to know anyone there."
"But it could have potential to be the greatest night of your life ever."
I decided that I had to do this. I was doing this for me. I was doing this for newly single guys everywhere who always depend on their loyal wingmen. This was a personal mission.
I must say it was a weird sensation, Leo and I to go to two different parties. It happens, rarely. He wished me luck, I told him to fist himself and we went our separate ways.
I was going to Lisa and Ann's joint birthday party, but on the drive down, I wondered if I need to bring something as a gift. I stopped by a liquor store and scanned the aisles for something appropriate. "Maybe a classy wine or... who the fuck am I kidding? It's Ann and Lisa." I grab the nearest fifth of whiskey on sale. It's the holidays and homeboy is on a budget. That'll do.
I parked the car in a quaint suburban neighborhood in the O.C. I'll admit, I was a little nervous so I pounded some sake, texted Jack and Leo "This is Red 5, I'm going in" and headed inside.
Like any gathering in which you don't know a single soul, it WAS a bit awkward. But then, I was sober... nothing a couple keg cups of beer couldn't handle. Ann and Lisa were both surprised (and I'll even go as far to say "delighted") to see me. They asked me where Jack and Leo were and I told a blatant lie.
"They both are at their company parties"
"They work in the same place?"
"Uh... sure."
Ann was well on her way to blacking out and it was only 10:00; she was already grinding on some dude to 50 Cent's "In Da Club". Lisa pulled out a tray of mini spinach quiches ("I baked them myself! I'd be a great wife! Who wants to marry me!?"). I must say, I was impressed and shocked. Until she dumped the entire tray on the table spilling the flaky pastries everywhere. Ahhh, that's more familiar.
After catching up with the girls, it was time to turn things up a notch. I then texted Leo and Jack, "Too close for missiles. Switching to whiskey."
I must say I was pretty proud of myself. I was charming, I was talkative, I was making people laugh, I was meeting new people. Everyone was extremely friendly. At one point, I was talking to two of their friends and we were debating on who was the more intoxicated birthday and in the middle of this discussion Ann literally walked right into a wall. She earned a few more tallies.
As for my quest for the almighty booty: unfruitful. A few reasons why:
- Again, I'm wearing the away team jersey... what can I do really?
- And although there were cute girls there and I was talking to them, I didn't get the vibe from any. I didn't really pursue that hard anyway. Meh.
- Or maybe I didn't get drunk enough.
- It wasn't quite a "sausage fest", but a lot of their friends are guys. Guys they met randomly (like me) at bars, football games, etc. I think that's Ann and Lisa's M.O.