Blog Archive

Friday, February 29, 2008

What Single Guys Talk About

Leo: Between this week mauling me as if I were a cornered bunny and the fact that I just read about 3 blogs whose female authors apprently cannot go 24 hours without getting slammed, I'm getting wasted tonight. Certain as the dawn.
Oh. And you should have sex with that one girl.
So@24: You have to have an erection to have sex. That much I do remember.
Leo: Are you kidding me?? She's decently cute! Nice body!
So@24: She doesn't get the blood flowin' in the right places, 'know what I mean?
Leo: Dude. Alcohol. Nectar of the Gods has good effects on the body and mind. Penis goes in hole, out of hole. Repeat. Rinse (literally). Politely kick out door.
So@24: I was hammered at the party and I was still not even considering it. Not even when she came BACK after dropping her friend off.
Leo: I think your libido has seriously wandered into the woods and died.
Leo: 10,000 years from now it'll appear, strangely preserved, at the bottom of a glacier during a particularly warm spring. Someone will stumble across the carcass. It'll be on the cover of National Geographic.
Leo: Wait. She came back?
So@24: Yep.
Leo: Oh fuck. Really.
So@24: -chews on straw piece-
Yeeeeeeeeeup.
-spits in spittoon-


HSV Commodore W427 unveiled in Melbourne. Australia's most powerful Holden

370 kW, 640 NM, 0-100kmph 4.7 sec

Australia just launched the 7 litre W427 HSV supercar - that's holden special vehicles for all you wankers outside Australia. It's heart is a 7 litre LS8 pinched from the Corvette from the land of the brave! This engine is almost 2 times bigger than Lewis Hamilton's MacLaren f1 car! It's more than four times bigger than my Nissan Tiida. You can stick four of these cars on a double decker bus and give the Boeing 747 a run for its money.

With Australia's brand spanking new prime minister Kevin Rudd desperately trying to cut back on green house gas emissions, this vehicle has very firmly flipped the him the bird. You're practically raping the environment every time you fire this beast up. When you depress the accelerator it's like kicking social responsibility in the head, after you have raped her friend, the environment!

When you accelerate it's like an angry donkey on steroids kicking you in the ass. You get whiplash despite the headrests, your dick gets compressed to nothing and your balls go into hiding. When you step on those huge 6 pot brakes it's like that angry donkey we talked about earlier kicking you in the gut. Your eyes pop out of your sockets, your dick stretches to 1 foot, your balls touch the floor mats and your heart ends up splattered across the windscreen. The exhaust sounds like a brontosaurus farting after eating too much curry, and people gasp as you go past, not in awe, but because the engine has sucked up all the available oxygen in the area.

Who is going to buy such a monster in Australia where the highest legal speed is limit 120 kmph, with most suburbs limited to 60kmph only and the price of petrol going through the roof thanks to those jobless camel humping oil sheiks? I'll tell you who! Not me, because I don't have enough money.

Expect to smoke clutches faster than Paris Hilton smokes Rick Salomon's meat cigar, and expect to guzzle more fuel than Mel Gibson guzzling hooch. However, this car is not a chick magnet unless you consider gas/petrol stations as hot sexy girls. You must be filthy rich or crazy or probably both to buy this car. $120,000 (Australian) either gets you this HSV supercar or it gets you a Honda Civic and about 5 years worth of fairly above average Russian hookers.

All About Cars, Riceboys And Ricegirls

Crystal Liu Yi Fei - Cute, Hot, Sexy and Beautiful



Thanks for support, for more detail and photos about Crystal Liu Yi Fei. Please visit our new website. Please click here: http://asianhotbeauty.com

Bizarre and Beautiful-Lisa Snook's Virtual Shoe Museum


The subject of shoes is not always sexy, exciting or cutting edge. Yes, there are shoe designers out there like Christian Louboutin whose creations can make some of us drool even when you're thinking to yourself, "I will never, ever, climb into those 6" pumps but I can admire from a distance."
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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Lloyd Dobler is Dead

The Chapter of Beth has come to a close in the Tome of So@24.

Nope. I didn't fly to Portland to meet her.

Nope. That conversation never really took place.

It looks like my large boombox (with "In Your Eyes" on repeat), trench coat, and high tops will have to be dusted off for another day.



It seems bizarre to me that a conversation of this magnitude would be held over AOL's Instant Messenger, but knowing Beth and knowing that she has a terrible history of confronting anything real or substantial.

Over our usual IM conversations, she informed me that she got a day off work so that I could afford a trip up. But she was quick to point out that she didn't see the purpose in talking face to face because "it wouldn't change anything"(seriously, Beth? Seriously?).

I'll spare you the entire dialog, but here are some of the highlights of the conversation:

Beth: There are important aspects of your life I can't ignore and I wouldn't want to chance our possible relationship on those. It's been really confusing and not knowing what to do. I just wish things were different.
Beth: There was a point where I was like, "f it" and just take the plunge, putting it all out on the table and seeing if we could make something happen. But we can't do it, it wouldn't work, it'd be disastrous.

Trust me when I say that even getting THIS much out of this girl is like Anne Sullivan's breakthrough with Helen Keller in the Miracle Worker. Even though her conversation is mostly made up of the most frustrating, vague cliche's that would leave any person to walk away from that conversation scratching their head like a chimpanzee. I guess beggars can't be choosers.


So the conclusion? Nothing.

I'm not losing sleep over this, nor am I pining about "what could be"? With a long enough gap of never addressing things has a direct effect how how much I care. All I wanted to do was to figure out what was going on, why we did couple-y shit, and what she thought it all meant.

If anything this is a lesson learned in the Land of Singledom:

It's not worth the time and effort to try and convince someone to talk about romantic issues if they're fighting tooth and nail (wouldn't she want to if she felt it was important?). I've just grown jaded and tired of the whole situation. It shouldn't be this much of an uphill fight.

She's still my friend.

But the dynamics will certainly change next time we visit each other. I'm going to make it mandatory that we sew ourselves in burlap sleeping bags like in Civil War time.

Sexy Babe: Maria Ozawa

































Maria Ozawa (小澤マリア, Ozawa Maria), also known as Miyabi (みやび, Miyabi)(born January 8, 1986), is a popular Japanese AV idol.Maria Ozawa is of mixed-race parentage. Her mother is Japanese and her father is French-Canadian, which gives her a look that has been described as "a perfect balance of Japanese beauty mixed with a dash of exoticism." Since she attended an international school from primary school to high school, she claims that her English reading and writing ability is better than her Japanese. Despite her international background, in interviews Ozawa expresses a preference for Asian sexual and romantic partners. While at school, she played hockey every day, and often went to karaoke after class. Her hobbies include cooking, which she is good at, and watching AVs on her flatscreen television set. She also enjoys playing video games, and owns a pink Nintendo DS Lite, and a pink PlayStation 2 console.

Top 10 Names for Jennifer Lopez's twins


JLo's baby pics worth 6 million.
Nicole Kidman's baby pics worth a few million.
Christina Aguilera's baby worth only 1 million.

Aren't these stars rich enough? They earn millions a year and now they want to flog their babies for more profit. This is ridiculous. At least Branjelina gave their money from the baby pics to UNICEF. I hope these other couples follow suit. But somehow I don't think white trash diva Christina Aguilera and titanic-ass JLo will be so generous. Also, looks like Christina is pretty miffed by the fact that JLo's twins are commanding 6mil while her little bundle of nappy rash is only good for 1 mil. She's so pissed she's fired a lot of people including her PR company. Well the problem is JLo has TWO babies, and her husband is Marc Anthony, that's gotta be worth a couple of million. Have you heard of a piss-ant called Jordan Bratman? Who the fuck is Jordan Bratman? Well, it's the name of the animal that fathered Christina's child. Now you see why she's lucky to get 1 mil. I thought that she'd have to pay the tabloids to put pics of her little poo-factory in them.

We, 'the people,' made Jennifer Lopez. By listening to her rubbish songs, enduring her vomit inducing movies and tolerating that titanic in-your-face ass. We own her! We should be able to get down on that fat sexy ass, the way Ben Affleck got down. Yu-uu-uck! Ben Affleck you are a sick fat-latino-ass loving porno freak! Anyway we own her babies. They should be given to the public for free.

Anyway, here are the top 10 baby nick-names for JLo's baby boy and girl

3 million smackeroos & look, another 3 million

Malibu House & New York Apartment

Screw you Ben & Stuff you Chris

Range Rover Vogue & Aston Martin DB9

Money bag number 1 & Money bag number 2

Laughing all the way to the bank & Laughing all the way to the bank - again.

Sucker born every minute & Another minute, another sucker

Screw the adoring fans & Screw them again

Little JLo & Little JLo with little balls

Little Mark Anthony & little Mark Anthony without balls

Back to Celebrity Central, for your daily fix.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Being a Dick Can Be Fun!

Janice's MySpace comment:

I miss the way you used to leave me good comments.

:(

So@24's MySpace comment back:

I was trying to feel you up at the time, remember?

Taiwan Female Pop Singer: Jolin Tsai Yi Ling































Jolin Tsai is a Golden Melody Award winning Taiwanese Mandopop singer. To date, Tsai is one of the most successful and popular singers in the Mandarin music market.

Profile

Name: Cai Yi Lin 蔡依林
English name: Jolin Tsai
Real Name: 蔡依翎 / Cai Yi Ling
Profession: Actress, singer, and dancer
Birthdate: 1980-Sept-15
Birthplace: Sinjhuang City, Taipei County, Taiwan
Height: 158cm
Weight: 43kg
Star sign: Virgo
Family: Parents and older sister

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Spot the 'Invisible' Men and Women in this Artist's Amazing Photographs






















In the natural world, the chameleon blends in perfectly with its background.

In the urban jungle, Desiree Palmen decided to attempt the same visual deception.
And as these pictures show, the effect is amazing. Miss Palmen, a 44-year-old Dutch artist, uses a method that requires a huge amount of effort and attention to detail.
She makes cotton suits and paints the camouflage on by hand, painstakingly matching it to the chosen background. Either she or a model then poses in the suit in the chosen place.

The scenes are photographed and filmed and then put on display.

via

The Amazingly Beautiful Street Art of Julian Beever

Julian Beever is a British artist who has spent 10 years creating pavement art in Europe, USA and Australia. Many of his creations are optical illusions, such as the one you will see in the video where Julian appears to be perched on a ledge, waiting for Batman and Robin to climb the building and rescue him. In reality, there is just pavement in front of him, and the street below together with the expectant crowd, plus the blazing building below him, are all tricks played on the eye.





































Julian Beever

Lunch w/ Lynn Pt. 2

** This is a continuation from a previous entry

This entry is sure to ruffle some feathers, I'm sure. However, I wanted to elaborate more on the interactions that took place when Lynn came and hung out after our lunch.

For the most part, Lynn was quiet. Understandable, seeing as this is the first time she has been around my friend since the breakup. But I admired that fact that she is very much aware that she was the one who broke up with me and was the variable that made me an emotional emo wreck for an entire calendar year... and now she was stepping back into the lion's den. She knew there might be some shit-talking going around.

During lunch, she vocalized and admitted she was intimidated by Leo and was aware that she was the butt of jokes. Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, she was afraid she'd say something "stupid" around him and she often would.

When we were in the living room talking, there was a feeling that brewed deep in the pit of my stomach that I hadn't felt in a long time. Lynn tried to contribute to the conversations, but there was definitely hostility in the air; like someone had plucked an opposition dandelion and blew. I was very much aware of it... and I didn't like it. I got that weird pit in my stomach that I used to get whenever she was around my friends when we were dating.

This was the first time Lynn had met my friend Veronica. And she didn't hold back on giving me her honest opinion:

Veronica: Do you think you foresee hanging out with Lynn more often?
So@24: We're both very conscious that we need to be careful about it. So have we planned anything? No. But I'm sure next time I'll drive down to see her and hang out with her friends next time Veronica: I'm sure Leo will be more than fine with that. Why would he be gunning to have her around if she's... well, like she was yesterday all the time. Seemingly bored and sour.

It should be noted that she been criticized numerous times for her "not-so-cheery" expression when in actuality, she's just contently listening, which can come off as "bored" or "stern". It never bothered me and I never really took note of it, but almost everyone I know has commented on it to her. She's extremely self conscious about it.

I could feel my face get hot. She had mentioned other things, comments that Leo, Paxton and Michael said... that weren't very positive about my ex.

I know we aren't together anymore, but does that mean I shouldn't care? But I'm aware and can admit that I get defensive for her still, just like I did when we dated. I feel bad that she tries and it was history repeating itself all over again.

She was a very important and influential person to me for six years of my life. I think I'm allowed to have this not sit well with me.

Japan Gravure Idol: Emi Kobayashi

































Emi Kobayashi (小林恵美, Kobayashi Emi, born January 1, 1983) is a Japanese gravure idol. She is from Tokyo, and belongs to the show-business production Suns Entertainment. She belonged to Yellow Cab before 2004. One of her great-grandmothers is Russian. She portrayed the hostess who became a nun named Saori in Lion-Maru G.

Profile

Nickname: Koba-emi
Profession: Actress and 'gravure idol' (Japanese term: swimsuit/bikini model)
Date of Birth: January 1, 1983
Birthplace: Tokyo, Japan
Height: 165 cm (5 feet and 5.0 inches)
Measurements: B88 W56 H83 cm (B34.6 W22.0 H32.7 inches)
Blood type: B

Monday, February 25, 2008

Lunch with Lynn

I wake up on Sunday morning in a sweaty panic and immediately reached for my phone. A text from Lynn:

"I'm running a little late, I'll be there at 1:00".

Whew. That gives me time to scrub the hangover off me.

The party before was a big success. Nothing really noteworthy took place. Except I think I tried to hit on a girl by telling her over and over again, "You totally look like Lisa Loeb." Smooth, So, smooth.

Chicks love that shit.

I start to clean the destruction from the party and check my watch about 100Xs waiting for her arrival.

As I'm carrying a pitcher full of left over beer, a familiar face shines in the doorway.

Lynn hands me my painting and we hug. I give her the grand tour of the house (she had never seen it since I moved), she pops into Leo's room and says "hello".

"He hasn't changed a bit," she smiles.

We're both starving and we drive to The Alcove, one of my favorite places for Sunday lunch. An outdoor cafe with sandwiches, soups, etc. We grab a table outside and start catching up. There is never an awkward pause and we laugh and joke just like we always used to. She reaches over to pick some fries off my plate and I instinctively grab some of her orange juice. It's like nothing has changed.

So Alcovey.

But a wind eventually picks up and soon the heat lamps aren't doing a damn thing. We decide to head back to the house. I'm surprised that she wants to stay instead of just take off. So we sit in the living room (her on one couch, I'm on another) and I show her some new songs I've been wanting to show her.

"I'm really glad we can do this. Is it weird?"
"No, not as much as you think it would be. I'm really happy we can do this too."

But at some point we talk about what it's like to be single and the weirdness. It's almost as if I'm coaching her on what it's like and how to survive it. If you were have told me a year ago I'd be in this position, I would have told you to fuck yourself. The passage of time really has an amazing impact.

Leo, Michael, Paxton, and Veronica all came back from lunch and joined us in the living room. Again, I thought that Lynn would be uncomfortable and leave, but she stuck around and braved the unusual circumstances like a champ. I moved and sat next to her to make room for everyone.

The act of sitting next to her on a couch gave me a funny feeling. Normally, I would have just pulled her next to me, or held her hand, or something else along those lines. The best way I can describe the afternoon was being conscious and fighting off those instincts. I think I actually folded my hands in my lap.

She had a long drive ahead of her and some things to take care of, so she got up and had to go. I lead her outside, we hugged and I told her how to get back to the freeway.

Leo: I think that you're at a point where nostalgia has worn off, and while you certainly feel the pang for someone to lie next to (don't we all), I think she is no longer "that someone" on your mind. Long and the short -- clear sailing ahead... the storm has finally dipped below the horizon behind you. Out of sight.