Fireside Friday Strikes Back!

Welcome to the 3rd edition of Fireside Friday.

The in-your-face entry with so much goddamn action, I might actually pee myself.

...

For those of you who aren't familiar with Fireside Friday, I basically open the forum up to any burning questions that you may have. And then I post them here.

I only got 4 this round, which if fine because these entries are so long they usually put Tolstoy to sleep.

Let's begin, shall we?



Laura asks...

"I've got a Fireside Friday question for you, if it isn't too late (my genius ass thought of this on the way home yesterday and didn't get around to writing it until now) Are you worried that one day you're going to get "outed"? (Note: Valley Girl and Martini got "outed" and now their blogs are gone) If so, are there any precautions that you're taking to minimize the chances of that happening?"


Ah yes. The demise of the blogger. That seems to be the trend recently; that anonymous bloggers have been "discovered", you check your blog roll... and suddenly, these mo fo's have peaced the fuck out.

This won't happen to me. And lemme tell you why. The stories I share are ones that I'm usually telling all my friends about anyway. The only reason my blog is anonymous is because I wanted to respect the anonymity of the people I wrote about; my ex girlfriend being the one I was most worried about.

However, Lynn discovered it through completely random circumstances out of my control and we discussed it. What she read, she liked (except for this post) and actually admitted, "I would have been an avid reader, if it didn't involve me!"

Dizzy Observer asks...

What happens after you have found the girl you have been looking for? No more blogging?


Not necessarily. I still think there are interesting observations that can come out of being in only the SECOND relationship I'll have been in this late in the game.

Because in the second relationship, I'll be experiencing so many of the same things I did with Lynn for the first time with someone new. Make sense? I think my head's spinning.

That isn't to say that when those stories get old, I'll probably take the ol' girl out back and she'll go the way of Old Yeller. Because who likes to read a blog where all you do is gush over your significant other on every fucking entry? It's the equivalent of those shitty goth kids who made out in the hallways during passing time in middle school.


Blinds asks...

Did you ever think of proposing to Lynn? How far into the marriage talk did you guys get?

Her and I did talk about it. I think you have to after 6 years or else... what the funky buttlovin' are you doing? We were actually pretty mature about it: both knew that we wanted to wait until we were both finished with school. Both were aware of the statistics of the divorce rate in the United States. Both knew that each year you wait, you increase your chances of a successful marriage. We both knew that we still were too young and had a lot of growing up to do.

But yes, we discussed it and we thought that it would one day be reality. I used to joke that my Vietnamese father would force her to wear an ao dai on our wedding day. And there are still times I think that it's weird that it's not going to happen, because at the time it was so "matter-of-factly".

It's a good thing we didn't, eh?

My dickhead friend Jack asks:

Please comment on/rebuke the possibility that you've allowed "heart broken guy who got dumped by his only girlfriend" to become your dating identity, enabling you to use it as a convenient crutch/excuse for being overly discriminate and not really putting yourself out there, especially though cop-outs like "I have no experience/game".

Oh little Jacky. Yousonofabitch.

Ask anyone, even those who knew me before I started dating Lynn, I'm very picky about who I like. Physically, personality... yeah, being more lenient on these things would probably allow me to date more. However, I don't see this as a flaw.

But why waste my time? Why waste their time?

You can't help what/who you like. If I know I can't sit through an entire episode of the Gilmore Girls, why would I ever want to go and buy the special edition, DVD box set with behind the scenes interviews and 3 hours of extra-never-before-seen-footage? Why should I pursue a girl just for the sake of getting a notch on my belt? Some people may have this buckshot mentality, but brotha... it ain't me.

And the issue of "putting myself out there"... what does this mean? Like talking to random girls at bars? Ever consider that it just might be a matter of personality differences.

Can't a guy just be shy? Does every guy have to approach dating the same way as you? Check this out. I'm not saying it's me exactly or anything CLOSE, but you have to admit there are some interesting elements wouldn't you say?





Kind of a more serious edition of Fireside Friday, but there you have it.

I'm gonna go get tanked tonight. Hopefully that'll provide some better blogging for next week.

Drink one for me this weekend!

- So@24

The Return of Fireside Friday

Welcome once again to another brutally honest edition of Fireside Friday. Sit down, make yourself comfortable. Grab yourself a glass of digital cognac while I pour myself a glass of wine (I'm actually doing this) and let's take that psychological scalpel to my chest cavity.

Once again my roommate and comrade Leo will answer some of the questions where he might have better insight than I.

Ready?

Let's begin.

ALL ABOUT THE EX

Clumsy Chatterbox asks:

What do you think was the most significant thing that happened in your relationship with Lynn? Think life-changing.

So@24: This is a really difficult question to answer, because I don't think I'll be answer that one until I'm a little older. And where do you begin really? She was my first everything: serious girlfriend, first sexual experience (Thanks for making me a man! -pounds chest with a single fist-), first love, blah blah blah. All of those things are significant.

Our break up was also extremely significant: forced me to look at myself in a different light, to learn that life can't be planned no matter how much you think you can. Nothing's set in stone. Let's see how many more cliche's about heartbreak I can cram in here.

Sorry if that's a cop out answer, but we learned a lot from each other during our 6 years together.

Michelle & the City asks:

So are you REALLY over the ex?

So@24: I've heard the notion thrown around that there are some people in your life who you might never get over. There is no doubt in my mind that Lynn is probably that girl.

Now, this isn't to say that I don't think I'll have feelings for someone else and I'm waving tattered white flag surrendering in my quest for romance at all. Again, if I look back to how I was a year ago, I was a complete mess. But I'm okay now. I'm not consuming six packs of beer on my porch reflecting on what was or losing sleep at night like I once was.

I'd be lying if I said there weren't some moments when I miss her. I might not be completely over it, but I'm not that emo mess I used to be.

Anonymous asks:

What were your top 3 songs when you were in the midst of your break up with Lynn and why? What is your theme song now?


So@24: Great, GREAT question. I'll list my top 3 songs and the most important lyrics to those songs.

1. Ben Folds "Gone"
Leo can vouch for me that this was on repeat for a long time during the thick of the breakup. The lyrics are perfect. (Leo says: "Many times a day, many times in a row. Luckily it's a great song otherwise I'd have shot you.")

I know that you went straight to someone else
While I worked through all this shit here by myself
And I think that you should spend sometime alone
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone.

2. Fallout Boy "Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things To Do Today"

Everyone has an angry breakup song and this was mine. I used to love pounding a beer and singing these lyrics at the top of my lungs. Over dramatic, emo, drunkenness? Yeah. I can admit that.

So bury me in memory
His smile's your rope
So wrap it tight around your throat

3. Ben Folds "Mess"

I consider this my reflection song. He sings about realizing the mistakes he made and looking back on what happened. But my favorite part is when he says he'll be a different person for someone else, and it's sad that his ex will never be able to see that side.

She'll never see that part of me
I want to be for her
What i could never be for you

Honorary mentions:

Less Than Jake "Ghosts of You and Me"
Alkaline Trio "Crawl"
Relient K "Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet"

My theme song regarding the aftermath:

Relient K "Up and Up"

It's upbeat and uplifting. The lyrics speak of reflecting on the past, but looking toward the future.

The history and what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the life that I have
The end is where I'll be

Dating

Hexacorde asks:

2) In general, would you say that you would prefer the chance to
a) Date/Hook-up with several (or a succession) of really cool people on a casual/semi-serious basis
b) Be in a one-on-one relationship, even if it's not a 100% perfect situation

So@24: I guess I'd need some clarification on this one. What's "not a 100% perfect situation"? Long distance? Because, I've done long distance before and I'd be willing to do it again for the right person.

Then again, hooking up with several really cool people seems pretty awesome. Something I've never experienced. Grass is always greener, I suppose.

Leo: What's a relationship?

Ultimate Dea asks:

You've made reference to girls who are too shallow to date a guy who is shorter than they are, but then often describe the girls you find attractive as "petite". How tall is too tall?

So@24: Really? When do I say this? Because of anything, out of all the people I know, I actually am the most likely to pick one with a little meat on her bones (ask Leo). Lynn is extremely petite, but she was an exception.

How tall is too tall? I can't judge people off their height. I just can't. I stand a towering 5'3" and it kills me that I'm automatically shut out of a lot due to my height. It's something I'm self conscious about, so I guess to answer your question... it doesn't matter to me. How can I be picky at 5'3"? That'd be hypocritical, don't you think?

Is Lynn still with the other guy?

So@24: No, she's not. She broke up with him a few months ago, because... well, they were a shitty couple. This happened a few months ago when she first felt that it was "okay" to contact me. Not sure exactly if they are talking now or what. It's still a sensitive subject for me, so the few times I talk to Lynn, I never bring it up. And I think she knows better than to do so.

What piece of advice do you get given the most by friends/readers/random passersby on the street regarding successfully meeting/dating a young lady? What advice would you or your male friends give to a young lady who is single and looking?

So@24: Whew. This one's a really tough one, because I'm not a dating guru... I'm learning just like everyone else, that's the whole theme of the blog, right? I don't know what it's like to meet and date young ladies! I haven't done it yet. My friends are often the ones giving ME advice. That also includes everyone who comments!


Leo: My advice to So@24 almost invariably touches on not being hesitant to test the waters... hold that eye contact a little long, a brief touch on the forearm when you laugh at their joke. Don't mire yourself in friendville, but keep it out of the sleaze zone. My advice to a young lady? Probably the same. Some guys are very shy (myself included) and won't pursue a girl they like for risk of getting shot down and hurt. So don't be afraid to flirt a little more with a guy you like, you may be richly rewarded (and on that note, steer clear of the guys who pursue aggressively... if they do it with you, they do it with many others).

Cage Queen asks:

What do you think of personals sites? Would you ever try one? Or do they "defeat the purpose"?

So@24: Great question. I'll save this one for a separate post on its own. Which was also your question

D asks:

Is there a girl in your world who's not on the main stage, but that you've got a thing for that's never been expressed? Like a coffee girl, or someone you see in your neighborhood...someone you don't know at all, but you notice? If so...why haven't you broken the ice?

So@24: Great, great question D. And in fact, this will be my next blog topic. Stay tuned.

Leo: Yes there is. Shit did I ruin that?

the other batman asks:

Why are you obsessed with the concept of dating?

So@24: Obsessed? I guess that might be an accurate term, although I'm not proud to admit it. I started writing this blog because it was therapeutic for me to just sit down and get all my thoughts out. And once I started to do so, I thought "wow, isn't it a funny thing for someone to start their first "dating" experience when they are fucking 24 years old?" just because everyone I know has done it for years; while I'm experiencing it for my first time. I knew that I 'd love it if I read about someones's adventures of doing this, so I decided to do so.

A Martini Always Helps asks:

Thanks to rs's question, I suddenly thought -- Who misses "Hey Dude?" I sure do. That show was next level.

So@24: I was never a big "Hey Dude" fan. Give me The Adventures of Pete and Pete any day.

Oh, but I suppose you want a *real* question. Why does it seem (to me at least) that everyone is single in LA, but every single person says it's hard to meet someone in LA? Are all the single people playing a game of hide-and-go-seek but forgot to pick someone to be the seeker?

So@24: I really, really wish I knew the answer to this one. Because then this whole dating thing would be a lot easier. If you find out the answer, you wanna send some of that my way?

sequined asks:

What is your "type"? What kind of a girl would you approach in a bar/club?

So@24: I really like outgoing girls, ones who aren't shy. And as I mentioned before, I like girls who I think are funny and can make me laugh: instant turn on. For a more detailed list, go here or here.

Leo: Amen to that. Can't say it enough... girl who has that amazingly clever sense of humor where after you laugh, you can't help but think... "how'd she think of that?" That makes Uncle Leo weak in the knees.

So@24: I don't know if I'd ever approach a girl in a bar. I don't have the juevos.

Leo: He doesn't...


...


Neither do I though.

What is your favorite bar in Seattle? Don't you miss Seattle?

So@24: I miss Seattle. I think I'll probably end up back their later in life when I "settle down". It's a perfect city!

I really didn't explore much of the bar scene in Seattle besides what was within walking distance from UW's campus. Tommy's Bar and Grill will always have a special place in my heart for their $3 pitchers and always allowing in my friends who were clearly underage. But Earl's is legendary for making the stiffest drinks I've ever encountered (and I've consumed paint thinner). Ahhh The Ave...

Is Leo single and does he have any interest in visiting Germany? (You're invited too.)

So@24: I can't ever imagine Leo having a girlfriend (although he has had girlfriends before). If that day ever comes, I may shed a tear (Leo: "Pickiest Guy in the Visible Universe Award on my mantle"). You'd probably fall in love with him, like every other girl who meets him. But he's not exceptionally tall, so I'd be interested on what you'd think.

Keep a beer stein chilled for me.

How seriously should I take horoscopes?

So@24: Not at all. You should read up on this brilliant man and I think you can watch the documentary on the web. Or watch this:

Leo: Horoscopes are an invention that prey upon a psychological tendency known as confirmation bias. Time reading horoscopes is time wasted I'm afraid.

Do you really think sleeping with random people would help in the healing process or might it be emotionally complicated? Do you think this is different for guys and girls? Please explain.

So@24: Good question. I have absolutely no idea, because I haven't experienced one side of the argument (I'll let you figure out which one I'm talking about). But at the risk of completely calling out my roommate, this would be a great one for Leo to answer...

Leo: Great question. Simple answer--yes, sleeping with other people helps. It boosts self confidence and esteem, allows you to focus on someone new, and takes your mind off (if only a little) your ex and the raw wound that was left after a separation.

That being said, it depends on the individual... for some people, casual sex actually decreases self-esteem--I think this happens for women who may feel "slutty" afterwards (let me say now that any guy who thinks you're a slut for getting yours is operating on a chauvinistic double standard, and I can pretty much guarantee he's not worth your time).

As always, have sex with people who you respect and, most importantly, respect and value you. Even if it's casual, strictly no-strings-attached. Other than that, bang away. It's cathartic, therapeutic, a good workout and and orgasm or two.

What kinds of underpants are cutest on a girl?

So@24: Do girls wear underwear? I can't remember exactly.

Leo: None? Boyshorts close second though.

GiveEmHellHarry asks:

Stop loving me and calling my gray matter cute. My gray matter is devilishly handsome, not cute.

Anyway, here's your question. Please explain to us all again why you're not getting laid? At the very least, there has to be one lady who writes comments here that would love to be the girl who broke SO's "losing" streak.

So@24: I think it's easier to be charming and suave hidden behind a computer monitor than actually trying these out in the real world. Maybe I should just walk up to girls at bars and present them a fancy business card with just my blogging address on it.

And besides, you actually think one of the readers would want to sleep with me knowing damn well I'd blog about every detail .05 seconds after sealing the deal? Ha!

Prin asks:

My question: Does it bother you that you have a swarm of girls "awwing" at you on your blog constantly?

So@24: I don't think there is a guy in the world who would be bothered by that. Unless he doesn't enjoy the company of women.

Ashley asks:

YOUR BLOG IS AWESOME!

I love reading a guy's POV.

Now, I need your POV on something. My question. I have my friend in Spain, Nano and he and I are super close. I would love to think it is something more, but I am just not sure. I feel like I am in your Beth situation but I don't want to write a letter for fear of scaring him away. I don't want the awkwardness, I don't think I am ready for that. However, I think he and I are 100% compatible. He calls me his confidant, tells me everything. I just wish I knew what he was thinking. I sent him a ton of dvd's and cd's for Christmas...that should have been the biggest hint for him, but I think he is blind to it. How do you think I can tell if he is reading me? I'm so bad at this.

So@24: I recently came to the realization that you can't be worried about scaring someone away. Would you really want to date/be involved with someone who be afraid about you telling your feelings to them? If anything, they should be GLAD you're saying something, right? If they are scared off, then it's obviously not going to work out anyway. I don't know how helpful that insight is and I don't like to speak for my gender in general (like some dbags do). I can only tell you what I think of the situation based on my own tao.

B2G asks: I keep asking you questions in my responses to your comments on my blog but I don't get an answer. Is it because they're out of the theme of the blog? :(

So@24: Really?? I haven't noticed them. I feel like a complete asshole, sorry about that. Email me and I'll get back to you on those.

RANDOM GRAB BAG

Angela asks:

I've been rather silent on your blog as of late. I think I am intimidated by all of your fans now. Your blog has really taken off. I just wanted you to know that I am still reading...daily. You are my night cap.

I wonder what you are like outside of this blog material. With the risk of stepping outside the theme of the blog, I am wondering if there are other themes that consume your life. Surely you don't spend all of your time thinking about relationships and getting laid do you? You don't have to share, but I think this is my way of asking if you are okay. Do you think that starting this blog and getting such a good response from it is creating a fixation on your past and reversely your future? I know, I know...it sounds like psychobabble but these are the things I think about.

Hope all is well in your non-blogging life.

So@24: All valid questions, Angela. And never apologize for asking, it's what I requested right?

You're right; my life isn't entirely consumed about my pursuit of the ever elusive "tail" and thoughts of my past relationship. But I'd be lying if I didn't think of both often. I just got a new job and I'm working to establish myself in my career circle. I like to write (obviously) about other things that aren't necessarily about dating or sex or my ex-girlfriend and our relationship.

Is this blog hindering my looking toward the future? I certainly don't think so. Because I really try not to reflect on my old relationship, but it's almost inevitable sometimes to compare where I am at now to where I was back then. Look at the transitions of my posts now from the beginning of this blog for proof. It's amazing (to me anyway).

If anything I'm writing this to record what it's like to move ahead. I hope you don't think I sit at my computer and pine about the old days and how I can relive those times again.

rs27 asks:

Question - On Salute Your Shorts why did Donkey Lips get such a bad rap? Sure he was overweight, not very good looking and had a lisp but...

So@24: It's a shallow, shallow world out here, Rs27. My heart goes out to Donkey Lips. Remember that episode when he thought that Dina wanted to go with him to the dance? Truly heartbreaking, he didn't deserve that embarrassment and humiliation. I can't even begin to imagine the traumatic effects to his self esteem after that one. I think this is a lesson for all girls to just give a guy a chance, even though you might not be interested initially.

And ZZ was pretty cute, but no one really gave her the time of day either.

Sid asks:

Just been reading some of your old blog posts. The one with the crazy chick, Janice? I found some of it hilariously funny and the others a little disconcerting.

1) In one of your posts you said that she flipped out, called you four times and then said she was going to bed because she was waiting for you for an hour. What I'd love to know is whether you guys have actually decided on a specific time to hook up. If not then she is just CRAZY.

So@24: Hook up? Do you mean like did we actually talk about "hooking up" or just "meeting up"? Because in either case, none happened. It was a general, "Hey I'll call you when I'm on my way" kind of deal.

If she had said something like, "I want to jump your bones at 8:28 pm" I probably wouldn't have putzed around my house cooking. I would have put the pedal to the metal, know what I'm sayin?

2) I'm a little amazed that she asked you why you were showering before coming over to her place. I know you weren't showering for her but showering before a date is something I always do. I want to drive the other person complete ape shit crazy. And one way to do that is to smell incredible. Right?

So@24: True. But I didn't take it as a date and I don't think she thought it was one either. Regardless, I shower almost every night anyway.

Leo: What's a shower?

3) She wasn't waiting for you, wearing her pjs and no make-up? WTF? That obviously wasn't a date. This was a sleep over. Did you make it clear to her that you weren't gay.

So@24: She knew I wasn't gay. But I don't think she wanted a sleep over. I went with my gut instinct with this one and I knew that she was the ULTIMATE carrot dangler. She liked the attention.

She sucked. Trust me.

Leo: Oh man did she suck.

4) Laughed out loud when you were explaining how boring she is BUT at the same time she's cute and has a nice rack. But then I paused for thought and wondered if I was Janice. Are guys just pretending to be interested in my thoughts?

So@24: If you are actually interesting, then I don't think you should worry about it. But this girl was the absolute worst when it came to engaging in conversation. So like my primitive chimpanzee/caveman instincts kicked in and I started to look for things to distract me. I pride myself on my listening skills; that is, if you have something to say.

Hexacorde asks:

You've probably got more questions than you can handle at this point, but I thought I'd toss these two your way. Feel free to use them or not, depending on your need

1) Name a female celebrity or fictional female character that you find attractive/sexy and explain what it is about them that you find attractive.

So@24: Well, what's the fun of picking out a celebrity? I picked one last time, so I'll choose some fictional characters.

Laura from High Fidelity. And no, not from the movie. I'm talking the book (which if you haven't read, pick up immediately.) She's smart, she's spontaneous, she's funny. But most importantly, she's patient and she does her best to understand Rob. However, she's not a push over. Laura doesn't let Rob walk all over her which is when the book starts off. She goes with her instincts and I imagine she's not the type to rely heavily on the opinions of her friends (also in the book) or self-help books. She goes with her gut and I admire that in anyone.

Oh. And she asks Rob, completely catching him off guard, to have sex in a car. That's pretty sexy. My favorite part of the book for numerous reasons.

Leo: An intelligent, well-spoken girl, with a great sense of humor is the hottest thing under the sun to me. If she's a democrat, the planets have aligned. Taking that into consideration, I'd say Jennifer Aniston. So@24 has a serious soft spot for a certain invincible cheerleader.

So@24: Save the cheerleader. Save the world.

mentalTHREESIXTY asks:

Seeing that your blog is becoming more and more popular, are you ever concerned that it may somehow be seen by your "cast of characters." Namely Beth, Lynn or any of the other "Girlies?" And what steps do you take to try to ensure this doesn't happen?

So@24: Well besides the usual steps an anonymous blogger takes: if you post pictures, block out the eyes. Try not to talk about your blog and expose it to too many of your friends. I made this mistake with my friend Leslie who ended up actually telling Beth about it (some people just have a terrible time keeping secrets). I don't know if Beth actually reads it or not.


Lynn discovered the blog on her own and to this day I'm not entirely sure how. But she's since forgotten the address and I don't think she keeps up with it. I've sent her some posts in the past and she enjoys reading them from time to time. I wrote about that here.


But if people discover it, I don't really mind that much. I don't censor myself because of it. The blog must go on!

EVERYONE LOVES PICTURES

Anonymous II asks:
Can we get another picture of Beth for good measure??



This was taken at that New Years party. I'm not sure why I'm holding my heart. Pledging allegiance? Or maybe it's something a lot more symbolic. ... Or maybe it's the whiskey shots.


thenextfish and tiff ask:

Ohhh, I so want to see a picture of Leo: drunk or sober, naked or clothed I really don't mind. So very curious.

I guess a picture of the ex is out of the question huh?

I'd like to request a compromising photo of Leo. While still fully clothed, as I still read you at work.

So@24: Ask you and you shall receive, Fishy & Tiffy. Here you are.

Leo: Why do they keep assuming you have naked pictures of me dude? ...Dude?

This was taken from the New Years party too. As you can see, I pulled out the bad ass air guitar. Leo is pointing to our loyal fans. And Jack is... I guess... pointing to me. I'm sure the song was "Say It Aint So". That's my only explanation for this.

Leo and I at some random party in Hollywood. I never wear shirts like the one photographed here, but it's that Ben Sherman shirt I talked about here.

This is the only photograph I have of Lynn that I can get access to. I tried to find one of her and I, but they are stored on my old hamster-wheel-operated desktop. I blogged about this picture here.


Angela asks:
I just want to see Leo and you in your most inebriated/classy pic.


So@24: This should do it. You can't really tell, but that hill was really steep.

-dusts hands-

There you have it! Another successful (?) edition of Fireside Friday.


It was a long one, but I thank everyone again who contributed. If you actually sat and read the whole thing, I'm impressed.


XOXO,
So@24

Fireside Friday

Good morning, my little babies!

It looks like I have my work cut out for me today. Thanks to everyone who participated in "Fireside Chats with Your Boy". I had questions ranging from all over the spectrum. Some of the questions I received actually require an entire entry on its own; so if you don't see it answered here... keep an eye out for it in the future.

I also have a guest editor. You all know him as my suave, devil-may-care, roommate Leo. Go ahead and say a few words, Big Guy:

Hello all,

I don't think my roommate realized the size and devotion of his readership when he opened the floor to questions. As such, he's currently pounding away at the keyboard trying to answer them all... I've offered to answer the ones that don't pertain to him personally.

...I feel a bit like a PR spokesperson.

-taps mic on podium, tightens tie, clears throat- "Ok ladies and gentlemen, let's begin."

Thanks and try not to upstage me, motherfucker. And as I always say, "enough pussyfooting". Let's get this show on the road.

Diarrhea of the Mouth asks:

1--mushroom head or a helmet head?

So@24: I actually blanched while reading some of these. And I highly doubt that people are actually interested if I'm circumsized or not. But I said you could ask ANYthing so...

There's definitely is a part of me that is more Jewish than most other parts on my body.

2--shaved or trimmed?

So@24: You gotta manage the field if you wanna play ball. Not scorch it.

3--how big? i heard asian men have small penises is it true?

So@24: I don't know exact measurements (do guys actually do this? I'm curious on the stats of how many do). But I never heard any complaints from the ex, so I'll take that as a good sign. Either that or she wanted to spare my feelings. However, there was that time I went to a gay bar and one of the patrons told me "I had a pretty big dick for an asian." I don't know whether to be insulted or to feel like a champion.

4--fake boobs or real boobs

So@24: I have no frame of reference since I've never "experienced" fake breasts. People would always prefer real anyway, right?

5--what is too fat for a girl

So@24: I've been told I'm not extremely picky when it comes to this. I'd rather have a thicker girl than one who looks like the bad guy at the end of Last Crusade.

6--why does tofu goes with everything?

So@24: Does it? I'll disagree with that.

7--do men like adult toys?

So@24: Again, no frame of reference. Ex and I never dabbled. I'm sure you can ask my roomie though.

Leo: -raises eyebrow-

"The hottest thing a guy can experience... the most exciting, sexiest, holy-hell-my-balls-are-going-to-melt feeling... is making a girl orgasm. So along those lines, yes, we love them. On you."

8--weirdest place you ever masturbated

So@24: I'll save the masturbation post for another time. But it will be answered, don't worry. Leo's been begging me to write about it for awhile now.

9--how much money would you take to sleep with a really hot gay guy and no one ever found out?

So@24: I honestly don't think any amount of money could make me. I'm not a homophob by any means, but it's definitely not my thing. I'd have to live with that for the rest of my life.

10--what is the ancient Chinese secret?

So@24: Calgon. Duh. (points so whoever gets this reference!)

NYC Ponderings Chick asks:

I would like to know more about living on the west coast, what do west coast people do, what kinds of food do they eat..does the toilet flush in a different direction?

Me: The problem with comparing the two is that I haven't been over the East coast a lot. I went to New York once when I was a sophomore and I barely remember it. I guess I'd need for you to tell me what you THINK we do and I'll try and dispel or confirm any stereotypes.

But your toilet theory intrigues me...

Leo: It's prettier, the food's better, the weed's better, the people are nicer (and hotter) we're more liberal, and the weather's great.

Tiff asks:

What's your idea of a perfect night out? Perfect night in? Turn offs? Turn ons?

And hey, whatever happened to that crazy cocktease girl, Janice?

So@24: Trying to think of the perfect night out is really difficult for me to answer, because I haven't been on a real date since... Lynn, which puts me about 7 years ago? And when I was during the "courting" stages with her, we did the usual "dinner and a movie". But my first date with her was carving pumpkins at her house and then taking her to a high school football game. So, I guess I don't know what the perfect night out is.

Perfect night in. This one is a little easier, but again I only have my experience with Lynn to play off of. I like to order in, so that's an absolute must. Some of my favorite nights were getting food-to-go, coming back and watching back to back episodes of whatever show we were into at the time. We'd stay up until 2 or 3 some nights watching entire seasons of Sopranos, Family Guy, or Arrested Development. I often wonder if other girls out there have that kind of endurance!

Turn offs: shitty MySpace pages, girls who know they're hot and act like it, any girl who openly discusses bodily functions (I'm not being a hypocrite, I hate that stuff too), terrible taste in music, Republicans, not college educated

Turns ons: girls who can karaoke, girls who are straight up and can fight the double standard about "men have to be the ones who approach women", blatant flirts (but only with me), who can quote hilarious movies, who can eat a chili cheese burger and not comment once on how it effects her weight, I think it's cute when girls cry (it's weird, I know), girls that laugh at my jokes.

Janice. Oh man. She actually moved out of Los Angeles and back home last weekend! I saw her for about 2 mins. at her going away party last weekend, but it wasn't significant to talk about. We stopped communicating after awhile, so she kind of just disappeared from the radar. Whew!

Dr. Ken (aka The Gancer) asks:

Tell us what your ideal woman would be like.

So@24: 1. She can drink. And not just wine or Kettle One. I'm sorry, but that's what's appealing to me right now. I don't want some girl whose in super-ultra adult mode. 9-5. In bed by 10 on weekends.
2. Likes to stay up late, sleep in and takes frequent naps. Sleeping in is like 12:00 or 1, not 10:30.
3. Who appreciates the old Nickelodeon shows. Salute Your Shorts, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Are You Afraid of the Dark, etc. Who can recite the theme songs.
4. She can shotgun a beer.
6. Doesn't get shy and will belt out "Say It Ain't So" or "Tiny Dancer" at any given moment.
7. And as my boy Rivers Cuomo puts its, "I want a girl who laughs for no one else." (lots o' Weezer references)
8. I love humor. I've read studies that guys are not attracted to "funny" girls. But I consider it a girl's most attractive quality (if she has it!).
9. Leo may have put it best: a fantastically beautiful girl, not sexy, just one that when you look at you can't help but smile. Radiant. Imagine her humming Ben Fold's "The Luckiest" as she cooks breakfast in a ratty t-shirt and a pair of your soccer shorts. Imagine her waking you up by kissing your closed eyes.


To Kiss The Cook asks:

1. If becoming friends with Lynn's current guy was an option, would you do it? If so, what would be the motivation?

So@24: I don't think so. Even if we were complete strangers without the "I started dating your girlfriend 2 weeks after you broke up" stigma attached, from what little I know about him, we wouldn't get along. He's the oil to my water, Monkees to my Beatles, the Nickelback to my good music. Opposites in almost every way. And he had a mean jealous streak, so I don't think he'd be open to that option. And he'll always be the guy who dipped his dirty mitts in my girlfriend's honey pot.

2. Will it be easier or harder to get over her if you talk more often?

So@24: That's a hard one to ask, because I honestly don't know. I can only go with what I feel right now, because that's all I have to go off of. I've never done a breakup like this before. All I can say is that I'm really happy that I'm rebuilding that friendship (although we both know it's a fragile situation so we're taking it slow) and I'm not finding myself struggling to get over her, pining like I was months ago. We'll just have to see how it goes.

3. Are you to a point of wanting to get over it? Not forget it, but change the way you think of her.

So@24: I'm going to take this questions like a "would you get back together with her", because that's essentially what it addresses (right?). Because why would I not want to get over her if I didn't want to get back together with her. People ask me this all the time and again, I can't say for sure. One thing I've learned from the whole thing is that you really can't predict what's going to happen to you... no matter how sure you are. To say "I'd never get back together with her" is a strong statement that might change in time. I don't think we would, but who can really say for sure? Right now, I am satisfied talking with her and joking around like we used to. I'm not angry or depressed about not getting more from it.

TheNextFish asks:

Do you think you could ever be happy 'just' being friends with the ex?

So@24: Again, I can't say for sure. Right now, I am happy just being friends and I can't ask for anything more from her or from me at this time. I certainly hope that's the case.

Elyce the Portuguese asks:

Starting over at 24 I imagine is no easy task. What was the hardest part of breaking up with Lynn, personally? (as far as, "establishing an identity that did not include 'boyfriend of Lynn'") Do you ever feel spiteful towards her now that you realize you're 24 and you're just beginning to date?

So@24: I've addressed this in the past, but I'd be lying if I didn't have a tinge of animosity about all of this happening when I was already out of college. I was with her all throughout college, which is your prime "dating years", I feel. Although I was extremely social (I went out to sorority dances and parties and had tons of girl friends), I never went on dates or anything. So it definitely stung a bit that as soon as she transferred from community college to a large university, she broke up with me for the first guy she met.

College is where you meet a lot of new people. You're thrown into situations where it forces you to. I've learned that now, it's much more difficult to meet new people. It's been extremely difficult to learn how to "re-date" at 24 years old when you're in such a comfort zone for six years.

Ubermouth asks:

If you were a girl for a day (and night) what would be the priority things that you would like to do?

So@24: Stand in front of the mirror naked all day playing with my boobs and giving myself the three knuckle shuffle. Duh. It's what every guy would do.

Drunken Chud asks:

How the fuck do you stay in a 6 year relationship? My longest is 8 months. I get bored too easily. How do you combat the boredom?

So@24: I can't begin to count how many times I've had to pick people's jaws off the floor when I tell them how long we dated. We dated longer than most marriages in the US, I feel.

I can honestly say I never got bored with her, even after that long. Every couple has their squabbles, but her and I never fought that often. We didn't have to make a lot of sacrifices, because we both were very in sync with what we liked to do. Liked the same music, movies, activities, food. She always cracked me up and I could always get a smile from her. As soon as you find all that, you're golden.

Hmmm. Well, maybe not golden. I guess we're not together anymore, so uh... take that with a grain of salt.

Laughing Through My Chardonnay asks:

SO@24 do you even know what type of girl you like? Besides one with giant sweater cows that is.

So@24: Dammit. You know me too well. I'm a motarboatin' son of a bitch, what can I say?

Charming Hedonist asks:

1. Exactly what the hell do you do in the entertainment industry?

Leo: Excellent question Char-char. While I'm not entitled to discuss specifics at this time, I can tell you that currently he's employed as an Executive Assistant (or EA as they say in the biz) at a company that manages comics, comedy clubs, and produces some comedy shows, including several "Comedy Central Presents".

It sounds cool, but in truth it's not. Read the passage where Dante passes through the 7th ring of hell--that's it. Luckily he leaves for much greener pastures on January 2nd.

2. Which celeb do you most want to sleep with and why?

So@24: Katherine Heigel please! Physically, she fits everything that make my penis suffer from rigor mortis. Cute girl next door face (I like round cheeks), blond, ample bosom. I fell in love with her in Knocked Up.

I mean, come on.

3. Do you secretly enjoy the Britney Spears downward spiral? (Because I do, and I think I'm going to spend a little time in hell for it so it'd be nice to know I'll have company)

So@24: I have faith in Britney. I plan on being her shoulder to cry on when the rest of the world has turned their back on her. And then I'll slowly gain her trust. I'll get her back into shape like the coach on Rocky. Grow her shit out. And then she'll be hot again. Remember her first album cover!? Holy hell! She's just going nuts because she hasn't had anyone service her in awhile. That's where I come into play. And when everyone wants her back again, she'll remember the one who had faith the entire time.

4. What's the craziest thing an LAer has ever said to you? (I'm from a small town, I've never been to LA but I've heard things.)

So@24: Again, I think I have to reference my gay bar adventure.

Leo: Frankly people in LA are just as batshit crazy as they are in other cities of similar size, such as NY. I'd venture to say that on the whole LAers are nicer than NYers, but more self-absorbed. Basically what I'm trying to say is West Coast > East Coast. What what, biotches...

-flashes Wes-siee gang sign-

5. And, the other question that all of your female bloggers are dying to know -- how on earth are you still single? Are you a dick in real life? Too picky? Have a unibrow? Or a third arm? What's the deal? My friend, Girl in a Guy's World and I ask this question every time we read your blog.

So@24: I don't think I'm a dick and I don't think people would describe me as one. I have a lot of friends and a lot of friends who are members of the opposite sex, so I don't think that's the problem. I'm a pretty sociable guy.

I've been told I'm extremely picky and I've actually been told once, "You can't expect the next girl you date to be as pretty as Lynn". That was extremely encouraging to say the least.

I don't think I'm unattractive, but I'm self conscious about my height and the fact that I'm half asian. It's a rough world out there for our types. And more often than not, girls always say they prefer dating taller men.

So as for why I'm single? I'm not quite sure. I guess I haven't found anyone "that girl" yet and it doesn't help that it's extremely hard to meet people.

But that's the whole fun of this blog, right?


Brianiac Chick asks:

If you had to give every woman in this world one piece of advice about dealing with men, what would it be?

So@24: Damn this is a hard one! I feel like all the pressure is on me to do this right for the sake of an entire gender.

Leo: But it varies greatly from guy to guy, but on the whole... be honest, be open and please for the love of Christ give "emotion" a time out and let "logic" and "reason" get some fucking playing time.

Also, be comfortable naked. We love you naked.

Katelin asks:

What's the craziest thing to happen to you in LA so far?

Leo: Well, your definition of 'crazy' is a bit ambiguous, but I'll tell you about the craziest "LA" night we ever had. It involved a red carpet, paparazzi, being 'on the list', ravaging the free poolside bar, ordering a drink next to Paris Hilton, literally rubbing elbows with Lindsay Lohan, staring at Ali Larter and watching Kirsten Dunst get hit on. Now, this sounds cool, but in all truth it really isn't our scene. The night was more of a sociology expose into the inner sanctum of the Hollywood upper crust. Verdict--Not so cool.

Steph asks:

Y-fronts/briefs/boxers?

So@24: Definitely a boxers guy. But I've often thought of going to Y fronts because every 1 in 5 boxers you own is what I refer to as a "phoenix boxer" phenomenon. It's when the stitching is all wrong and the front flap doesn't quite do it's job of keeping all your bits and pieces inside. Makes for awkward situations of trying to cram that bad boy back in at inopportune moments

What is the best smell in the world?

So@24: Abercrombie 8 (for women, of course).

Dancefloor or bar?

So@24: I don't hit the dance floor unless I'm absolutely shit faced and/or blacked out. But when I do, it's magic. I'd much prefer a pub.

Favorite female body part?

So@24: It's not strictly a female body part, but I always like the back of girls' arms. It's extremely bizarre, but it's one of the softest parts! Try it!

...

Where are you going? Please come back...

BottleBlonde asks:

Am I not the hottest chick you've ever seen?

So@24: I really haven't seen you. But your pixelated fun bags look pretty dope in that one picture. You're as cute as a button.

What is it about me that turns you on?

So@24: I'm running out of nicknames for your chest-lovelies.

What are you buying me for Kwanzaa?

So@24: Oh shit. I... um... you see, honey... the thing is... "I love you"?

Do you think this potato sack makes me look fat?

So@24: Well no, not if you... put this around... no wait, what if we cut this part? No. Wrap this here.

Okay yes it does. It's a fucking potato sack, Blondey.

TrixieFireCracker asks:

1. what is considered "too fat" for a girl?

So@24: I love that this question came up twice!

2. How much does looks really matter? (honestly)

Me: Looks are extremely important, in that it gets things started. You have to be physically attracted to someone before anything can happen. Why would you even begin to investigate someone if you didn't find them physically attractive in the first place? I think you're lying to you think looks aren't an important factor.

However, it doesn't mean that it's the be-all-end-all. There are plenty of attractive girls whose personalities are completely repulsive. Once I've determined this, I move on elsewhere. You gotta have both. Yin and yang, my friends.

3. How's the being-friends-with-your-ex coming along? I tried my hand at that, and it ended so horribly it wasn't even funny.

So@24: So far, so good. We don't overload or talk every day. We're open and honest about how we feel about the whole process. The whole thing is one of the most mature things I've ever done. I hope it stays the course. I'll probably blog about this very topic later on as it progresses.

GiveEmHellHarry asks:

Don't you owe me a tagging post?

So@24: I had to pass on this one. My computer with all my songs on it is from 1997 and freezes if more than one application is open at a time (e.g. the hamster gets tired running on his wheel).

You wouldn't want me to participate anyway. It's a bunch of embarrassing punk music from the early 2000's, ABBA, and Hall & Oates.

Sequined asks:

Why leave Seattle, or any other city for that matter, for LA?

Leo: "Well... 'tis true. LA isn't exactly the top of the Cool City list. But... the truth is, it's the beating heart of the industry in which both SO@24 and myself want to make our careers. Other than that, the weather is really sweet. It was 80 degrees yesterday.

So@24: I love, love, love Seattle. I want to go back one of these days. That's probably the place where I will set my roots down the line. But, I needed to give "the industry" a shot while I'm young and can make those mistakes. Gotta live where the action is if you want a chance at all!

Lisa asks:

You know what i love? GRAPHS. Graph different emotions on the y axis, and time on the x axis. THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT!


* Leo's art

La Ebria asks:

Post about how you think you and your current life would be different if you hadn't dated Lynn for 6 years. What if you had been single during college?

Basically, what do you think so@24's doppelganger is like?

So@24: This is a great, great question that I think will require an entire post on it's own.

To Kiss the Cook asks:

As a member of the entertainment industry, have you ever seen a break-up/loss on film that you really empathized with?

So@24: Another great one I'll think I'll save for another time.

* * *

I hope that was enlightening, grasshoppers. It was fun. Perhaps we'll play again sometime. Again, if I didn't get to it this time, it's because the question was so HUGE that a seperate entry will be dedicated to it.

Now go out and get drunk this weekend. Here's hoping for some awkward experiences!

Taking a shot,
So@24 & Leo