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Friday, August 1, 2008

Is It Ever Ok to Hit on a Waitress?

I met up with my dear friend Chardsy for a couple of drinks after work.

Immediately after being seated, I gave that preliminary "potential" scan that I've become all to familiar with since being single. Any potential, single girl you might encounter in any social setting, you have to give a once over. It's like when the doctor hits that exact spot on your knee and you kick involuntarily... you just have to do it.

She was cute. Short, long brown hair, and Buddy Holly-esque glasses. And I swear that she was smiling back at me whenever I sneaked a glance. Oh God. Do all guys think that all girls are smiling at them and that means something? Fuck.

I ordered Chards and I a round of beers. After a few sips I asked her:

So@24: So what do you think of our waitress?
Chards: Huh?
So@24: Our waitress! Cute, right?
Chards: Oh yeah. She's cute.

I sat back in my seat and mulled over the situation for a moment.

So@24: So what can someone do in this situation?
Chards: What situation?
So@24: Me! Here! Now! A cute waitress! There's nothing I can do, right??
Chards: Absolutely not. You never ask out a waitress.
So@24: Really? Never?
Chards: Never.

She was right. I mean, really... what can you do?

Eventually everyone paid their checks. At the top of my bill were the scribbled words "Thank you! :) ".

I try my best to casually glance over at the other two bills. Nothing. Blank. Mine was the only one that our cute waitress had written on!

She wrote "Thank you! Smiley face!" On MY bill! No one else's!

...

This is when reality grabbed me by my collar and yanked my ass back down. At this moment, I took a beat, stared blankly ahead and thought:

Holy shit, So. Has it really come to this?