Space Oddity - For articles that defy definition

Ever wondered why aliens like anal probes so much? Why some women want to have a sex change to become men and so have to beg for sex rather than refuse sex? Why some stupid blog about cats is in the technorati top 10, while your original and creative blog is languishing somewhere near the toilet? It's a strange little universe indeed.

Important facts on having sex with a midget.
Man gets pregnant - universe threatened
Colonel Sanders vs Ronald McDonald.

Celebrity Central

What are those sex crazed boozed up and frequently OD'ed and DP'ed celebs upto? What makes celebrities do the weirdest stuff such as couch jumping, beaver flashing, eating filthy oil soaked McDonald's burgers on the floor while fully stoned and make amateur porn videos of themselves doing animals (Rick Saloman). I guess it's more money than we will ever earn in 100 lifetimes, the ability to pick who you want to go to shag tonight, instead of having to beg and spend only one tenth of the time an ordinary person would spend in jail -after servicing the judge. If you have ever thought about these pertinent issues then you have come to the right place.

Jennifer Aniston Nude? Nope, Close But No Cigar
Corey Worthington, party liaison.
Original Heather Mills jokes
Britney Spears in Playboy's 25 sexiest.
Top 10 names for JLo's twins

Why All The Wailing About Japanese Whaling?

Here is a good ethical and intelligent conundrum that should be put to those sea pirates that call themselves animal rights activists. Yep, I mean the wankers from Sea Shepard and the tossers from Green Peace's anti-whaling Corps.

If you had the chance to kill a whale and feed it to starving children, what would you do? Well, we all know what those whale lovers would do. Skin the starving children and make dinghies so that they can molest the Nisshin Maru, like sex starved sperm after an egg.

What Japan should do is use part of the profit from the err... whaling research to help needy children in some 3rd world country. This would ordinarily cause a moral dilemma to any sane animal rights activists and possibly even Klingons. The only problem is that the anti-whaling activists are from the planet Beluga-5, where they make sweet passionate love to those damn sexy fish (if it lives in the sea, it’s a fish).

If you want to teach Japan a lesson – and you don’t want another Hiroshima- all you have to do is boycott Japanese products until they admit that the only research they are doing with whales is finding out how good they taste. This means no Honda Civic type-Rs, no Play Station 3s, no Bravia HD-TV and most importantly of all no Pokemon. Lack of Pokemon would probably cause more havoc than the lack of credit in the current credit crunch.

Please don't get me wrong. I love animals - especially the taste of them. But seriously, I guess the problem is that world hunger and children dying of starvation and disease is a really a hard picture to swallow. The price of failure is cold stark death. Lots of people find this unpalatable, like broccoli. Contrast this to anti-whaling, where the price of failure is sashimi. This is not only a more palatable ending, but tastes darn good too with some wasabi. If I were to fail at something. I’d rather the consequences be yummy sashimi than a dead kid.

Wake up ordinary people and whale-o-phile freaks, and smell the blubber! Let's get our priorities straight. Ferrari, people, whales – that is the natural order of the universe.

As a wise man(me) once said. ‘It is better to fail at saving a child’s life than be successful at saving a whale. For the first shows a noble heart, the latter just shows that you’re a jack-ass.’

The only way to make this problem go away is for MacDonald’s to start serving a blubber burger along with the other fattening filth they dish out. People who eat big Macs have obviously stopped worrying about the poor cows being slaughtered. So once they start eating blubber burgers, they’d forget about the slaughter of whales.

Cooking whale meat