Looks like the big brother steam-roller is hammering downhill towards that quagmire called oblivion. Channel 10 is throwing everything except the kitchen sink at this show. Expect the kitchen sink, soiled underwear and used sex toys to follow really soon, because nothing seems to be working. From day one the show has been a disaster. The first mistake was to replace Gretel Kileen by an an angry old fart whose personality is, well angry, and a bimbo who would be excellent topless, but nothing much else. They are so utterly boring it makes a Sunday mass look like a cheap but entertaining Jean-Claude Van Damme action movie. Then there's the contestants. The only thing interesting about them is that there is one promiscuous mini whore (Rima), a homosexual child whose testicles refuse to drop (Travis) and an old gramdma who's slightly less entertaining than a demented octogenarian lying on a couch with his tongue hanging out.
Big brother appears really artificial now. It is generally and artificial show, but more so this year. With ad hoc hand grenades and big brother choosing to reverse some of the grenades. For example Nobbi sending terry to the combi and then BB giving Terrence the power to reverse it.
Channel 10 has put in party rat Cory Worhtington, unknown fashion faggot Carson Kressley, and now Pamela Anderson in a bid to try and inject some glucose into catatonic ratings. Pamela Anderson has the boobs to save many a show, but we're talking about the Titanic here.
What is the difference between a cheap porn show and Big Brother?
A cheap porn show has talentless and personality-less people and a lot of sex and nudity. BB has no sex and nudity.
I hope Channel 10 has BB09 next year. I love to see them suffer!
More BB08 news
Showing posts with label Big Brother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Brother. Show all posts
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Important Facts On Sex With a Midget
With all the excitement around the 1m tall midget Rima Hadchiti in the Big Brother house, her subsequent departure after breaking a leg and the scandalous photos of her on the internet, we thought we'd discuss some midgetology. Rima has a normal sized (non-midget) husband. So what would the sexual mechanics be like? Here are a couple of facts that you should be aware of if you want to poke Rima or any of her kind.- She can give you blow job while both of you are standing up.
- In the 69 Position you're licking her toes or she's sucking your tummy.
- The sexiest lingerie you can buy for her are a pair of briefs with mickey mouse pictures and a bra with a pink bow.
- If she can grab your dick with one hand, then you have a toothpick between your balls.
- You may have the smallest penis in the world, but she makes you feel hung like a donkey.
- In the world of fantasy sex games you can...
- Paint her green, stick a pair of Mickey mouse ears on her and pretend you are having sex with Yoda, or Yaddle depending on your fancy.
- Get her to go on all fours, drape a shag-pile carpet over her and pretend to have bestiality sex with your neighbor's dog.
- Fit her in an elmo/oscar/cookie monster suit and you can finally 'get nasty' with one of your childhood friends.
- Pretend you're a he-snow-white and fuck a she-dwarf.
- Dress her up as a school girl and pretend to screw your son's girlfriend.
- If both of you are in a jacuzzi, and she's been underwater for over 2 minutes, she's not trying to give you a BJ, she's drowning!
- The only chance you get to post pics of your sexual antics under the 'freak show' category on 'those' websites.
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Sunday, May 4, 2008
Big Brother 2008 Australia, Housemate Roundup
Distributing Australia's Big Brother trash around the world!!!!
Channel 10 has hit rock bottom. No, lower that rock bottom. Channel 10 has hit the earth's inner core. BB08 looks like something pond scum wouldn't even touch. Here is a roundup of the lesser boring characters. Trust me, the rest are as smart as half a sea urchin and about as entertaining as a fully clothed Pamela Anderson with words instead of a dick in her mouth. Anyway it's time The rest of the world woke up to Big Brother Australia!
Rima: You can tell that BB is really scraping the bottom of the Barrel on this one. A midget that has done porno. Yuck. I would have loved to see any of the other girls in the BB house except Dixie in the nude, or better still having sex. But a midget? Crikey, she should have a paper bag taped over her head and stored in my grandma's closet. What is interesting is how she has sex with her full sized husband? Maybe he has a small dick,or maybe he is a dwarf fetishist, or probably both. She's every child molesters dream, to be able to molest a child like thing and not have the cops kicking down your door. Interesting facts on sex with a midget/dwarf.
Terri: A 52 year old Nazi Nana that thinks foreigners are the scourge of Australian Society. I wonder what the aborigines think of that, considering they were in Australia first. I bet if you go to her gulag and turn over all those little cutesy collectible figurines, you'll see 'made in china' under all of them. She's a tough old bigoted bitch who has a picture of Hitler under in her torture chamber basement where her husband can be regularly heard begging for mercy. If you ever wondered what it would be like to have sex with a female and Christian version of Saddam Hussein, good luck getting her into bed with you. Good bye if you did manage!
Dixie: A self confessed nymphomaniac hoochie mama with the ass a size of a good sized family car. The only thing that's stopping this sex maniac form having sex with a new guy everyday is the fact that she's pretty ugly. She's a BB first on three accounts. She's the first fat woman on BB and the first non-white woman on BB and definitely the one we want to see the least naked. She could wear house mate Travis as a thong and use house mate Renee as an angry tampon.
Travis: A squeaky voiced stick insect of a retard. His high pitched voice sounds like a he's had his balls bitten off by a dingo. Except that he didn't have balls to start off with. He's always hanging out with the girls and claims he isn't a homosexual. Pity, because except for a blind indiscriminate man i can't see anyone, let alone a healthy woman sleeping with this man-bimbo. I wish all the girls would get together and gang-rape the little bastard.
The Rest: Assorted good looking women and good looking blokes. Good thong/G-string and turkey slapping material.
More Big Brother
Channel 10 has hit rock bottom. No, lower that rock bottom. Channel 10 has hit the earth's inner core. BB08 looks like something pond scum wouldn't even touch. Here is a roundup of the lesser boring characters. Trust me, the rest are as smart as half a sea urchin and about as entertaining as a fully clothed Pamela Anderson with words instead of a dick in her mouth. Anyway it's time The rest of the world woke up to Big Brother Australia!
Rima: You can tell that BB is really scraping the bottom of the Barrel on this one. A midget that has done porno. Yuck. I would have loved to see any of the other girls in the BB house except Dixie in the nude, or better still having sex. But a midget? Crikey, she should have a paper bag taped over her head and stored in my grandma's closet. What is interesting is how she has sex with her full sized husband? Maybe he has a small dick,or maybe he is a dwarf fetishist, or probably both. She's every child molesters dream, to be able to molest a child like thing and not have the cops kicking down your door. Interesting facts on sex with a midget/dwarf.
Terri: A 52 year old Nazi Nana that thinks foreigners are the scourge of Australian Society. I wonder what the aborigines think of that, considering they were in Australia first. I bet if you go to her gulag and turn over all those little cutesy collectible figurines, you'll see 'made in china' under all of them. She's a tough old bigoted bitch who has a picture of Hitler under in her torture chamber basement where her husband can be regularly heard begging for mercy. If you ever wondered what it would be like to have sex with a female and Christian version of Saddam Hussein, good luck getting her into bed with you. Good bye if you did manage!
Dixie: A self confessed nymphomaniac hoochie mama with the ass a size of a good sized family car. The only thing that's stopping this sex maniac form having sex with a new guy everyday is the fact that she's pretty ugly. She's a BB first on three accounts. She's the first fat woman on BB and the first non-white woman on BB and definitely the one we want to see the least naked. She could wear house mate Travis as a thong and use house mate Renee as an angry tampon.
Travis: A squeaky voiced stick insect of a retard. His high pitched voice sounds like a he's had his balls bitten off by a dingo. Except that he didn't have balls to start off with. He's always hanging out with the girls and claims he isn't a homosexual. Pity, because except for a blind indiscriminate man i can't see anyone, let alone a healthy woman sleeping with this man-bimbo. I wish all the girls would get together and gang-rape the little bastard.
The Rest: Assorted good looking women and good looking blokes. Good thong/G-string and turkey slapping material.
More Big Brother
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Big Brother 2008 Australia. Something Different
Looks like the shit is about to hit the fan this April when big brother fires up on channel Ten again. Ten is trying desperately to revive this sodden biscuit of a show by including fresh new hosts; Angry sonafabitch Radio Jock Strap Kyle Sandilands and his beautiful, but somewhat dim witted co-host Jackie-O. Kyle has stated that he wants to see an interesting house. Duh! Not a house just filled with 20-something jobless losers. He wants to see grumpy old men. Well screw him, we don't want to see grumpy old men itching their balls and cleaning their dentures. We want to see sexy house mates like UK BB's Channel Haye's in hot G-strings and uncensored antics that annoy the RSPCA such as turkey slappin, and monkey spanking.It looks like the Big Brother franchise has exhausted all available aces. They've had a husband and wife team, a couple of gay perverts, shrews, beauties and even a lachrymal geek whose estimated IQ was about 10 points over the house average of 60. However, based on the current 'I don't think so' add campaign where they tough talk poor Johnny Howard, it looks like BB08 will bring back the good stuff like uncut, x-rated content. I sincerely hope that Mike is back with Fitzy and Bree for the FNL show. They are the best thing to happen to that pathetic mess, they called BB07, that at best wasted the cathode ray tube on many TVs and at worst contributed to the misconception that homosexual people are okay. Mike et all seemed to have a good energy and Bree's boobs are a real drool card, I meant draw card.
The only problem is how many smart people with decent jobs, responsibility and valuable opinions that extend beyond night clubs and dating have the time or the inclination to join the BB circus? None.
Here are some ideas that we might expect for BB08
- Homosexual woman. Come on channel Ten, nobody wants to see gay men.
- Person of the Islam faith, but preferably not someone who wanks off to Bin Laden.
- Catholic Priest, but preferably not one into sodomizing boys, because unfortunately we cant have young boys on the show.
- Really smart overachieving Asian person with all the personality of half a sea slug.
- Animal cruelty such as turkey slapping, monkey spanking and beaver beating.
- Designate one day a week as bra-and-knickers-only day.
- Designate all remaining days as tank-top-only days.
- Have a TV but only show porn, Today Tonight, A Current Affair or some other similar insanity or sexual urge inducing programs. Anna Coren gives me a bump in my pants!
- 'Who Dares Wins' style food such as dicks for women and beavers for men.
- Geek chick. A proper sexy one who plays WoW and Second Life. Not some fat crying wanker who insists 'I'm not crying' when he's clearly pissing out of his eyes.
More Big Brother
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