Meeting Bloggers Can Prepare You For The Real Thing

If you would have told me a year ago that I would meet face to face with readers of my blog, I would have "hardy har har"'d your ass and gone back to chugging my Schlitz.

However, an email from Martini asking me to meet up with her and Lady Luck at a bar in West Hollywood caught my attention. Leo, Leroy and I drove out to the bar and a manager stopped us at the kiosk.

Manager: Who are you here to see?

Leo & Leroy both turned to me.

So@24: Oh. Uhm. I actually, don't know their names...

-Manager raises eyebrow-

Manager: You can wait at the bar until your "friends" arrive.

We saddled up to the bar and I started to scan the room.

So@24: Well, now what?
Leo: Why are you asking me?? This is your operation, chief. Did she write her name in the email?
So@24: She signed it "Martini". That's all I got.
Leo: What about a phone number?
So@24: Nope. That was it.
Leo: Good luck with that buddy. Off you go.

I zigzagged around the bar like Billy in the Family Circus.

awkward wanderings

Nothing looked promising. I returned to the bar defeated.

So@24: This was a dumb idea guys. I'm sorry, let's just go.
Leo: What about those two girls standing there?

Sure enough, at the end of the bar, are two attractive girls sipping drinks. One of them happened to be drinking a martini.

So@24: Well, they said there would be other bloggers here. But maybe they are here by themselves?

But look!

Wait. Don't look now. One of them just looked at me. Wait. Wait.

Okay look now. One of them is drinking a martini! Dude! It's a code!
Leo: Only one way to find out.

...

...

Leo: Well??

I turned my back to the girls so they can't see me talking about them.

So@24: (in a loud whisper) You want me to go over there? What am I supposed to say?? "Hey, are you bloggers?" This is stupid, let's just go.
Leo: We came all the way out here! You're going!
So@24: Why don't you do it? You're good at this type of thing.
Leo: No way, this is all you kimosabe.
So@24: Goddammit.

I'm furiously chewing my nails and peek around Leo to get another look at the girls.

It's gotta be them. It has to. I mean... right?

So@24: Alright. Give me your beer.

-glug glug glug-
-wipes mouth with back of hand-
-slams down pint glass-

So@24's inner monologue: Why does this feel like a blind date? What am I supposed to say without sounding like a complete douche? Nothing. Your "go to" is about BLOGGING. You got nothing. God. Maybe this is what it's like to approach strange women at bars. No shit, Sherlock. You ARE approaching strange women... at a bar. Alright wrap this monologue up, you've been standing in front of these two girls for what seems like 2 years and you are just staring at them. They're staring, they're staring, they're staring... Here goes...

So@24: Are you here for the blogging convention?

So@24's inner monologue: Nice.

Girls: Huh? A what? Blogging convention?
So@24: Wait. Let's scratch the word "convention". Can we start over? Uh... I... uh... am supposed to meet these bloggers here.

...

I promise you I'm not trying to do some terrible pick-up line.
Girls: What's a blog?
So@24's inner monologue: Oh Jesus.
So@24: Sorry, this must have been a big mistake. Forget it.
Girls: Explain it. Like Perez Hilton?

I turn to Leo and Leroy. "Help me!" I mouth in absolute terror. I can feel the beads of sweat starting to form. Where is an empty paper sack to heavily breathe into when you need one??

So@24: Uh kinda.
Girls: Well what do you write about?
So@24's inner monologue: ABANDON SHIP! ... but don't mention that you write about being single. Seriously. Don't do it.

And so this extremely awkward exchange continued. Leo and Leroy at one point, step in and try to explain to the girls what blogs were and I would interject occasionally with, "Are you guys fucking with me?" I tried to lock eyes with one of the girls in hopes that they'd give away a hint that they knew who I was.

I was just about to swear off women altogether when one of the girls asked to see Leo's driver's license.

Girl: Hmmmm... I thought your name was "Leo"?

-coy smirks from both girls-

Goddammit.

Turns out that Martini and Lady Luck are complete sadists and enjoyed watching me squirm like a sweaty gerbil. So cruel. So, so cruel.

I suppose a valuable lesson can be learned from this situation:

Approaching members of the opposite sex in a social setting won't result in me spontaneously combusting.

Although I came damn-near close to doing so.

Welp. Time to get drunk and make some friends.

a blogging convention.

Mash Up Of "The Dark Knight" And "Batman"- Side-By-Side Video Of The Two

"We’re supposed to get a new Dark Knight trailer on Sunday, and I’m excited. We’ve had the teaser for a few weeks now, but one thing I’ve wondered since seeing it the first time is why so many scenes look like they were ripped out of Tim Burton’s Batman from 1989.
I guess I’m not alone. One very talented video editor remade the teaser out of scenes from Burton’s film and put together a pretty good shot-for-shot clone. It’s eerie how similar they are, but also really fun to watch". says crunchgear

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Clothing As Moving Canvas -The 2nd Skin Exhibit In San Francisco

The 2nd Skin Exhibit opening night took place on 4/25/08 in San Francisco. The event is a celebration of clothing creativity. There was a man wearing costumes covered head to toe in LEDs. Another man wearing a suit made of bubble wrap. A woman in a skirt made of Snickers wrappers. And a woman in a dress that generates power when she moves.”

The 2nd Skin Exhibit has a futuristic, sort of burlesque-like vision where the artists featured challenge the standard notions of practical clothing. Materials include everything from re-purposed goods to glowing electrical supplies from the hardware store

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video via cnetnews

"Fulla" -A Doll from the Middle East that Offers an Alternative to Barbie Who Could Get Banned in Iran (video)

Apparently Barbie has Iran’s main prosecutor shook. In a letter to Iranian Vice President Parviz Davoudi, General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabada said that the plastic doll leads to negative social consequences. Duh! The sensitive prosecutor said “The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter…are all warning bells to officials in the cultural arena.” When dressing, Iranian women are required to cover their whole body, a rule Barbie’s skanky ass has yet to follow. One of the Middle East’s answers to Barbie has been Fulla, a “classier” chick who remains fully covered at all times. To see Fulla in action, check her commercial after the jump.

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Luxury Eco-Friendly Architecture - The $15 Million Orchid House

This is the design of a sustainable, eco-friendly house shaped in the form of a bee orchid. The house, which is called The Orchid and is located in the UK, uses geothermal heating and an underground pump to create its own energy. So far so good.

The Orchid, designed by Sarah Featherstone, sits on 550 acres of beautiful land in Cotswold which is a privately-owned nature reserve and it is priced at £7.2 million euros or about $15 million dollars. And that's where I get off the ride. Fifteen million dollars? Isn't that sort of counter intuitive to the whole environmental movement?
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Taiwan Beautiful Babe: Jiang Yu Chen 江语晨

Thanks for support, for more detail and photos about Jiang Yu Chen 江语晨. Please visit our new website. Please click here: http://asianhotbeauty.com

Share the Love, Piven

A Saturday afternoon spent out at a swanky Malibu beach house is nothing to turn your nose at. And being single, the one thing that is inevitable (and probably a bit Neanderthalic and pathetic) is that the words "beach" and "cute girls" go hand in hand.

I'm not sure what it is about the single mentality, but every time I hear the word "beach" I suddenly think I'm going to, through some divine intervention, find my next girlfriend there. Why is it that I always assume that every single girl on the beach is going to be amazingly gorgeous, strolling around with giant sunglasses and cute, little, sundresses?

In any case, today my predictions actually came true. Leo, Leroy and I headed out to the beaches of Malibu for some much needed r&r at Leo's friend's private beach house. While Leo was preparing the barbecue, he sent me to his car to grab the last bag of groceries.

Walking to the car, I saw two cute, blondies parking their Jetta right behind Leo. Wouldn't you know it? They were wearing giant sunglasses and those cute sundresses (yep, that's the word "cute" twice in a row). They rolled down the window and asked, "Is it okay if we park here?"

"Oh yeah. Absolutely. You're cool."

I spun on my heels to conceal my excitement. I brought my hands to my mouth like a little school girl. What if they were coming down to the beach where we were? What if they wanted to drink with us? What if they were actually cool? What if they want to play chicken with me and Leo like they do in all those 80's college movies? What if... what if... what if...

My power walk turned into a sprint when I sped down the beach to meet with Leo and Leroy, who were waist deep in the ocean. I felt like a 7 year old at Christmas. From my overly enthusiastic reaction, you would have thought I had never seen an attractive girl in my life.

So@24: Guys! Guys! [arms flailing]
Leo: What?
So@24: There are some cute girls who just parked behind you!
Leroy: How cute?
So@24: Really hot!
Leo: Oh dude. They are probably going to Jeremy Piven's place.
So@24: [wind knocked out of me] Jeremy... Piven's??
Leo: Yeah man. His place is right next door? See? He's kicking it on the porch there with all those girls.

Leo and Leroy turn, uninterested, back to the Pacific ocean.

Goddammit! Jeremy Piven!? Like he needs any more fucking girls.

Sure enough, moments later, the two betties who has just asked my permission to park behind Leo's car were holding blue keg cups and peeling off their sundresses into bikinis. On Jeremy Piven's beach house deck.

Dejected, I turned back around and continued to body surf with my roommates like a couple of 13 year old boys.

I looked up once again to see that these girls decided, for some reason, to leave Jeremy's side... walk down to the sand... and then stop right in front of our beach house. One of them even did that thing that girls do where they use their pointer fingers to straighten out their bikini bottoms by running them along the seam. You know what I mean? Am I the only one who thinks that's unbelievably hot?

"Fuck you," I thought. "Fuck. You."

Why do girls do that? There was absolutely no reason for them to come all the way down there, just to flaunt off their magazine-esque bodies directly in front of where we're acting like donkeys in the water. To just torture and tease? What kind of person gets pleasure in this kind of mental torture?

I looked at Leo with my mouth open, shaking my head in disbelief and utter confusion. I stetched out my arm, gesturing to the two beach princesses. "Why!? WHY!?"

Leo shrugged, "Girls man. They know what they're doing. Best not to give them attention." And with that, he turned back around and tried to catch the next wave.

The BBC's Ethical Fashion Website - Thread:Fashion Without Victims

The British Broadcasting Company(BBC) launched an ethical fashion ezine named “Thread”. The online magazine seeks to address issues many fashion-conscious and environmentally-responsible people constantly grapple with such as the damage sustained by the environment due to unethical and irresponsible practices on the part of the fashion industry, sustainability, human and animal rights, fair trade practices, etc, etc. Most of the plethora of issues relevant here are interrelated and the answers to those issues are very complex but I love the BBC’s forward thinking move. Check out some nice-looking stuff from the site.

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Guido Daniele's Incredible Animal Hand Paints - Handimals

Guido Daniele is an Italian multimedia artist and body painter. His hand paintings of animals or "Handimals" are absolutely amazing.















































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Desktop Clutter as Art - PC Desktop Art Made with Folders

Gizmodo is running a contest for the coolest looking desktop made entirely out of folders. They have received 14 entries so far and some of them are pretty neat. Ren and Stimpy, Purple Tentacle, Iron Man, Daffy Duck and one of the character from South Park are among the themes submitted. The contest is still open if you think you might be interested.

I must say the stuff is pretty impressive.




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She Flossed Her Way Into My Heart

I am absolutely terrified of the dentist.

So when I finally returned after 3 years (gotta wait for those benefits to kick in, son) I knew that I was going to be in trouble. Yesterday, I found out that my encounter with the drill was inevitable. I peed myself. I made my appointment for this afternoon.

All night long I squealed like a baby sow to Leo.

So@24: Fuck man. Fuck man. They are going to drill me. It's going to hurt like a mother. Fuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck me.
Leo: Stop being a pussy. Just get laughing gas, you baby.
So@24: You can ask for that? Even for something as minor as a filling?
Leo: Yes. If you really want it that bad.
So@24: Okay. Sure. Yeah. That sounds good. That can be good.

As I paced back and forth in the waiting room, my only comfort was the thought I'd be kickin' it in some version of a Beatles' music video while the sadist (dentist) was going to town on my precious, sensitive teeth. Who cares if it's something as simple as a filling? It's still discomfort, dammit!

aaah. laughing gas.

As I sat in the chair o' doom, I waited for the dentist to come in and strategically planned how I would ask for that sweet, sweet laughing gas. I wasn't taking "no" for an answer.

Turns out, my dentist was a young, Indian woman... maybe a few years older than myself. And when she pulled down her surgical mask and flashed me her pearly whites, my heart skipped a beat. She was cute as hell!

Cute Dentist: It says here you called in ahead of time to request laughing gas? You know I'm only doing a filling right? I'll numb you before, but I really don't think we need to use the gas.
So@24: Huh? Oh. Right. I knew that. Pssssssh. Must have been a mistake.
Cute Dentist: I thought that was kind of odd. Are you sure?
So@24: Totally, totally. Do your thang, doc.

So this is what it's come down to. I didn't want to look like less of a man in front of my hot, young dentist. I needed to be a man. I pondered, as a single guy, what lengths we do to impress women. Even women that we have absolutely no chance with.

The procedure went fine, no pain whatsoever.

At the end, she shoved a stick full of plaster into my mouth for impressions and sashayed down the hall with my x-ray charts (and my heart) in her hands.

When she came back into the room, she flashed me a smile. I tried to sit up in my seat as best as I could. "Is she smiling?? At me??" I shot her back a smile, making the best I could with that huge stick protruding awkwardly from my mouth.

She walked over to the chair and leaned over.

She took my bib and wiped off the drool rolling down my extremely numb chin.

"Sorry. You got a little drool there you probably can't feel. I saw it from across the room and it looked funny!"

Balls.

Leaked! Sex and the City Movie Lead Song by Fergie -Labels or Love

Fergie - Labels Or Love (New song)
by wonderful-life1989

"Gone Gitmo" - "Second Life" Interactive Guantanamo Bay Prison Game(Video)

Nonny de la Peña, a journalist and filmmaker and Peggy Weil, assistant professor in the interactive-media division of the U.S.C. film school designed a virtual simulation of Guantanamo Bay Prison in Second Life. The game is called Gone Gitmo.



De la Peña and Weil say they created the virtual torture camp to '“raise awareness [that] our government is denying the basic rights of habeas corpus to prisoners”





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10 of the Sexiest TV Commercials Ever

These commercials prove, one more time, that sex sells big time. 10 of the sexiest TV commercials ever.

Another Day with The Ex

No sex.

I'm not sure why everyone got up in arms and actually thought this was actually a possibility. Because Leo said so? Pffff. Give me a break.

All I said is that I wouldn't be opposed to it. And one thing I know about Lynn (you tend to pick somethings up in a 6 year relationship) is that she doesn't play games. She's the type to call it like it is. If she wanted to have sex; she would have said so. But she's a logical girl (for the most part) and knows better than to go down that path; even though every primal instinct in me is telling me otherwise.

And lastly, our the friendship I have with her now is something I wouldn't put in jeopardy for something as simple as getting my pee pee damp. It's really as simple as that. If I were to go in for a kiss or try to shove a hand up her shirt, it would scare her off thinking that I wanted to get back together. So. None of that.

I wish I had something exciting to tell you about our Sunday afternoon together, but it wasn't anything more exciting than what Clarissa and Sam did on Clarissa Explains It All.

platonic as fuck.

She gave me a tour of her college campus, we grabbed a quick bite to eat, we sat around her room just shooting the shit, and drove around with the windows rolled down both singing songs that were only significant when we dated (New Found Glory's self titled album, if you're really curious). I can't describe how fun it was to look over and see her in the driver's seat, smiling back while singing a song that we both loved when we dated.

However, when we were on the couch talking and we both had our legs propped up on a footstool... my mind began to wander. I continued to nod and throw out the random "Mmmhmm. Right, right," while she talked, but I was really occupied because couldn't help but feel a twang of regret.

Fuck, So@24. Why didn't you ever tell her how pretty she is?

My inability to communicate my feelings (fancy that!) was one of the reasons for the breakup.

But I got a text message from the parents of the girl Lynn and I used to babysit, so I had to leave. She walked me to my car and we hugged.

***

I drove to the Disneyland Hotel to meet up with everyone. The little girl must have remembered me because she ran up and gave me a hug. My favorite part of dinner was when she squealed with delight when she was looking through my wallet and found a baby picture I keep of her tucked inside. She laughed and got a kick out of it.

I know it's cliche'd to say, but I couldn't believe how big she has gotten. It seems like just the other day Lynn and I were tucking her into her crib and I was refilling her humidifier with water.

China Beautiful Actress: Li Bing Bing

Li Bingbing is a Chinese actress from mainland China. Originally she had no intention of being an actress and enrolled specifically in a high school for prospective school teachers. However upon graduating she became dissatisfied with her career and eventually was persuaded by a friend to join the Shanghai Drama Institute. She has gone on to perform in a variety of film and television roles. Her film debut was in Zhang Yuan's 1999 film Seventeen Years. In August 26th 2007, Li was awarded the best actress Huabiao Award, for her role in the movie The Knot. She collaborated with such stars as Jet Li and Jackie Chan in The Forbidden Kingdom, which was released in April, 2008.

Profile

Name: Li Bing Bing 李冰冰
Also known as: Lee Bing Bing
Profession: Actress and singer
Birth date: 1976-Feb-27
Horoscope: Pisces
Birthplace: Harbin, Heilongjiang, China
Height:165cm
Weight:47kg
Chinese zodiac:Dragon
Blood type: A
Family:Younger sister



The Forbidden Kingdom

Humanized Cartoons - Jessica Rabbit "Untooned"

Remember Jessica Rabbit? She is the sultry human cartoon wife of Roger Rabbit in the 1988 Academy-Award winning film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. The movie mixed action with animation to create a marvelous “toon” universe.



Jessica Rabbit was “untooned” and made to look lifelike and the result is pretty impressive.



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Tequila, Tequila, Tequid64ncZShkcskldfz

"Yep, we're only drinking tequila for my birthday. That's the rule."

"Well. This should be interesting."

With a "strictly tequila" night, things are going to get a little nutty. Especially when it's celebrating one of my friends from college (sorority sisters w/ Beth actually), Jenny's birthday. Living in Manhattan Beach, we both find it hard to meet up, but when we do I always a great time.

Of course, what is a celebration without bringing my partners in crime Leo, Jack, and my old roommate Kevin with me (Leroy had a girlfriend night)? We crammed into The Honey Wagon IV, my sweet ride if you really want to know, and headed to the beach.

Jose Cuervo and I were best pals that evening. After tangoing with him for the early part of the evening, we moved to a bar to do some real dancing.

I don't dance. Unless I'm tanked. Just as I had a pint of Newcastle to my lips, Jenny grabbed me by the hand and tugged me into the crowd of dancers, sloshing my beer on the bar floor. Leo and I both agree that there's something amazing about a drunk girl, grabbing your hand and leading you to the dance floor (even though she's just a friend).

I can't remember the last time I danced, but I forgot how much it can be. Although I can guarantee Jenny and I tearing up the dance floor was not the least bit graceful. But fuck. Hands on a girl's hips, spinning her, dipping her... that's the good stuff I miss. Reminds me of the very few times Lynn and I danced. I'll admit I got a little nostalgic about frat dances and even high school proms w/ Lynn. I'll blame it on the booze.

get down.

The tequila sloshing around wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, but I could tell that Leo, Jack, and Kevin were getting tired of watching me flailing around like an idiot. It was time to go.

But before we got into the car, we decided it would be a good idea to run around on the beach like drunken idiots. For some reason, I take this time to call Lynn. We have a pleasant 10 minute drunken conversation... we are both drunk and we make each other laugh over something that probably wasn't all that funny.

When we get home, I overhear Leo lay down some serious game; we're talking epic. This guy doesn't fuck around, I swear to you I can't make this stuff up. I eavesdrop on a conversation Leo has with one of his bootycalls.

Leo: I think you should come over and take your clothes off.
[brief pause for response]
Leo: Because I want to see you naked.
[brief pause for response]
Leo: Okay, my address is...

I'm telling you, homeboy is that good.

I wake up at 11:00am with a call from Jenny and a terrible hangover that can only be created through tequila.

"You bastard, Jose. You win again."

Jenny: Thanks for leaving me last night!
So@24: What did I do??
Jenny:: I chalked up another number. With my neighbor.
So@24: It was your birthday! Who cares? Enjoy the moment.
Jenny:: Guh. If I had you there this wouldn't have happened!

Hear that, parents? Your daughters are safe with me!

Oh. What's this? I have a text message from Beth. Balls. And the following text exchange occurs:

Beth: Um. I just got your message.
So@24: Oh? What did I text?
Beth: You didn't text. Voicemail.
So@24: Oh boy. What did I say?
Beth: You really don't remember?
So@24: I didn't even know my own name last night.
Beth: You rapped.

Go me.

Madonna - The Beat Goes On (Remix Hard Candy)

Madonna- Heartbeat (from the 'Hard Candy' album)

Heartbeat live in New York City

Sing-Along Celebs

Ever wondered what a Celebrity's life would be like in the words of a limerick? If you have then you are in the right place. If you haven't, then it's about time you did. Select your celebrity below and go onto a fun, catchy and informative string of hilarious limericks. This is a work in progress, so more celebs will be added on as time goes by.

Paris Hilton
Oprah Winfrey
Britney Spears

Big Brother 2008 Australia. Something Different

Looks like the shit is about to hit the fan this April when big brother fires up on channel Ten again. Ten is trying desperately to revive this sodden biscuit of a show by including fresh new hosts; Angry sonafabitch Radio Jock Strap Kyle Sandilands and his beautiful, but somewhat dim witted co-host Jackie-O. Kyle has stated that he wants to see an interesting house. Duh! Not a house just filled with 20-something jobless losers. He wants to see grumpy old men. Well screw him, we don't want to see grumpy old men itching their balls and cleaning their dentures. We want to see sexy house mates like UK BB's Channel Haye's in hot G-strings and uncensored antics that annoy the RSPCA such as turkey slappin, and monkey spanking.

It looks like the Big Brother franchise has exhausted all available aces. They've had a husband and wife team, a couple of gay perverts, shrews, beauties and even a lachrymal geek whose estimated IQ was about 10 points over the house average of 60. However, based on the current 'I don't think so' add campaign where they tough talk poor Johnny Howard, it looks like BB08 will bring back the good stuff like uncut, x-rated content. I sincerely hope that Mike is back with Fitzy and Bree for the FNL show. They are the best thing to happen to that pathetic mess, they called BB07, that at best wasted the cathode ray tube on many TVs and at worst contributed to the misconception that homosexual people are okay. Mike et all seemed to have a good energy and Bree's boobs are a real drool card, I meant draw card.

The only problem is how many smart people with decent jobs, responsibility and valuable opinions that extend beyond night clubs and dating have the time or the inclination to join the BB circus? None.

Here are some ideas that we might expect for BB08

• Homosexual woman. Come on channel Ten, nobody wants to see gay men.
• Person of the Islam faith, but preferably not someone who wanks off to Bin Laden.
• Catholic Priest, but preferably not one into sodomizing boys, because unfortunately we cant have young boys on the show.
  
• Really smart overachieving Asian person with all the personality of half a sea slug.
• Animal cruelty such as turkey slapping, monkey spanking and beaver beating.
• Designate one day a week as bra-and-knickers-only day.
• Designate all remaining days as tank-top-only days.
  
• Have a TV but only show porn, Today Tonight, A Current Affair or some other similar insanity or sexual urge inducing programs. Anna Coren gives me a bump in my pants!
  
• 'Who Dares Wins' style food such as dicks for women and beavers for men.
  
• Geek chick. A proper sexy one who plays WoW and Second Life. Not some fat crying wanker who insists 'I'm not crying' when he's clearly pissing out of his eyes.

Big Brother house mates

More Big Brother

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Kobe Bryant Jumps Over a Speeding Aston Martin Car In YouTube Nike Ad

Los Angeles Lakers superstar shooting guard Kobe Bryant did a YouTube ad for Nike where, in an act of macho bravado, he jumps over an Aston Martin car coming straight at him at 50 miles per hour. Nicely executed stunt if in fact the maneuver was real.

Before the end of the commercial, Kobe, in a PSA moment, tells the rest of us not to try the stunt at home. The commercial is being distributed by the Jun Group.

I don't know about you guys but I feel like I have enough spring in my legs and maybe a few billion dead cells in my brain to try the stunt in the middle of a highway with several cars coming at me at the same time. And I would be doing it for free!

What do you have to say about that Bryant?!!