A few drinks. Awkwardly standing around only talking amongst ourselves. Pound a few more drinks to be more social. Realize that more alcohol isn't doing anything. In bed by 12:30. The usual Saturday night.
It started off just as expected. A lot of Hollywood folk mingling with hors d'oeuvres in one hand and a cocktail in the other. As we made our way to the backyard, Leo turns and says, "Wanna meet my boss?"
"Sure."
And then it happened. Everything went into slow motion. Two blue birds floated out of nowhere and held pieces of her golden strands in their beaks. She was standing on a clam a la' The Birth of Venus. Angels busted some shit on their lyres.
Leo's boss is
fucking
hot.
- curvy, voluptuous
- blond
- sexy, raspy smoker's voice (but doesn't smoke)
- puts away the booze like nobody's business
- can rock a little black dress
- owns Rock Band??
Leo: Gross.
So@24: Help a brother out!
Leo: She's ten years older than you.
So@24: "Age ain't nutting but a number." Aaliyah. RIP.
Leo: If you sleep with my boss, it'll make my job so much easier. I'll pay you $50.
So@24: With our powers combined, how can we fail?
Of course, it's much easier to be outgoing and overly flirtatious when you're really doing it for the comedic value.
So over the course of the evening, I pumped more fermented fluids into my body and in turn, my actions became bolder. And although she was busy schmoozing and playing hostess, we managed to snag her for a bit to sing a Rock Band song with us.
With every drunken wobble she took and alcohol induced cheer I heard her yell over the crowd, my heart thumped a little louder.
A half cup of pure gin later, I had a hand on her shoulder and we were discussing which is the better karaoke song to sing Lisa Loeb's "Stay" or Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn".
On the ride back home, I turned to Leo, "How'd I do!?"
"You did good man. You did good."
***
So@24: I shamelessly hit on Leo's boss last night.
Paxton: Did you actually do well or were you drunk?
So@24: Why can't I be both?
Paxton: Dammit.
