But Chardsy and I have been friends for awhile, so I've come accostomed to predicting who will be at her gatherings. In the strictest sense of the single guy mentality, there wasn't going to be any "fresh prospects".
The party arrived at 9 and we closed down the bar. This was to be expected.
About a half an hour before closing time, I had lost Beardsy and found myself in the middle of the bar by myself. I glanced over at a table and a girl sitting by herself smoking a cigarette was beckoning to me.
I looked both directions making absolutely sure she was addressing me. I guess I should have known that since I was alone. I made my way to the table and took a seat across from her.
The girl across from me wasn't particularly attractive (at least, not my type), but she was kind enough to have me join her and strike up a conversation. It's a little embarassing to admit now, but at the time my initial reaction to this situation was, "Oh this will be a perfect opportunity to practice talking to a completely random female stranger one-on-one without the pressure of having to impress. Like a scrimmage."
She was clearly three sheets to the wind; I picked up on it instantly when I noticed her eyes weren't blinking at the same time. We did the usual, go-to, stranger dance. Discussed how we both knew Chardsy, what we did for a living, where we lived in, etc. I sat back in my chair and watched her take long drags from her cigarette. She did most of the talking (as most drunk girls seem to do) and I nodded when appropriate.
The conversation lasted about 20 mins before she mentioned that her live-in boyfriend was also a friend of Chardsy's and at the bar.
Now, I think this is something I've become hyper aware of since being single. When I was dating Lynn, I would never once think twice about something like this. But I suddenly got really uncomfortable; a minor panic.
Was this guy watching me have this drawn out conversation with his girlfriend?
Is he the jealous, insecure type? Is he an angry drunk? Oh God, what if he's an angry drunk?
I'm not even remotely attracted to her! I can't get in trouble for this, right??
I know that girls with boyfriends are free to talk to other guys, make friends and it's not a big deal. I feel that way, I just don't know if that's something that EVERYone is comfortable with.
I found myself instantly adjusting my body language. I turned my legs so they were facing out from under the table. I sat back in my seat with an arm thrown over the back. I made a point to casually browse the room instead of keepign eye contact. I figured that these subtle changes should make some difference to show my general disinterest to the general public (more important her boyfriend, if he was watching me).
I wanted to scan the room to make sure I wasn't stepping on any toes. Beardsy suddenly appeared behind the girl and gave me the double thumbs up. Fuck! He thinks I'm interested in her! If HE does, then what must other people think??
I gave Beardsy the quick, "no no no!" headshake hoping that no one saw him give me the "good work bro"-thumbs. I don't even remember the rest of the conversation at that point (I don't think she did either) as I was much too preoccupied of giving off the wrong impression.
There was no way to exit that conversation in a easy way. I made up some reason to leave and excused myself. I felt bad leaving her alone with her ciggs, but I felt much too awkward.
Where does this hypersensitivity come from? Is it something that you only become aware of when you're single? Is it a justified concern or are we all becoming too paranoid?