So when I finally returned after 3 years (gotta wait for those benefits to kick in, son) I knew that I was going to be in trouble. Yesterday, I found out that my encounter with the drill was inevitable. I peed myself. I made my appointment for this afternoon.
All night long I squealed like a baby sow to Leo.
So@24: Fuck man. Fuck man. They are going to drill me. It's going to hurt like a mother. Fuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck meFuck me.
Leo: Stop being a pussy. Just get laughing gas, you baby.
So@24: You can ask for that? Even for something as minor as a filling?
Leo: Yes. If you really want it that bad.
So@24: Okay. Sure. Yeah. That sounds good. That can be good.
As I paced back and forth in the waiting room, my only comfort was the thought I'd be kickin' it in some version of a Beatles' music video while the sadist (dentist) was going to town on my precious, sensitive teeth. Who cares if it's something as simple as a filling? It's still discomfort, dammit!
aaah. laughing gas.
As I sat in the chair o' doom, I waited for the dentist to come in and strategically planned how I would ask for that sweet, sweet laughing gas. I wasn't taking "no" for an answer.
Turns out, my dentist was a young, Indian woman... maybe a few years older than myself. And when she pulled down her surgical mask and flashed me her pearly whites, my heart skipped a beat. She was cute as hell!
Cute Dentist: It says here you called in ahead of time to request laughing gas? You know I'm only doing a filling right? I'll numb you before, but I really don't think we need to use the gas.
So@24: Huh? Oh. Right. I knew that. Pssssssh. Must have been a mistake.
Cute Dentist: I thought that was kind of odd. Are you sure?
So@24: Totally, totally. Do your thang, doc.
So this is what it's come down to. I didn't want to look like less of a man in front of my hot, young dentist. I needed to be a man. I pondered, as a single guy, what lengths we do to impress women. Even women that we have absolutely no chance with.
The procedure went fine, no pain whatsoever.
At the end, she shoved a stick full of plaster into my mouth for impressions and sashayed down the hall with my x-ray charts (and my heart) in her hands.
When she came back into the room, she flashed me a smile. I tried to sit up in my seat as best as I could. "Is she smiling?? At me??" I shot her back a smile, making the best I could with that huge stick protruding awkwardly from my mouth.
She walked over to the chair and leaned over.
She took my bib and wiped off the drool rolling down my extremely numb chin.
"Sorry. You got a little drool there you probably can't feel. I saw it from across the room and it looked funny!"
Balls.
Turns out, my dentist was a young, Indian woman... maybe a few years older than myself. And when she pulled down her surgical mask and flashed me her pearly whites, my heart skipped a beat. She was cute as hell!
Cute Dentist: It says here you called in ahead of time to request laughing gas? You know I'm only doing a filling right? I'll numb you before, but I really don't think we need to use the gas.
So@24: Huh? Oh. Right. I knew that. Pssssssh. Must have been a mistake.
Cute Dentist: I thought that was kind of odd. Are you sure?
So@24: Totally, totally. Do your thang, doc.
So this is what it's come down to. I didn't want to look like less of a man in front of my hot, young dentist. I needed to be a man. I pondered, as a single guy, what lengths we do to impress women. Even women that we have absolutely no chance with.
The procedure went fine, no pain whatsoever.
At the end, she shoved a stick full of plaster into my mouth for impressions and sashayed down the hall with my x-ray charts (and my heart) in her hands.
When she came back into the room, she flashed me a smile. I tried to sit up in my seat as best as I could. "Is she smiling?? At me??" I shot her back a smile, making the best I could with that huge stick protruding awkwardly from my mouth.
She walked over to the chair and leaned over.
She took my bib and wiped off the drool rolling down my extremely numb chin.
"Sorry. You got a little drool there you probably can't feel. I saw it from across the room and it looked funny!"
Balls.