Lewis Hamilton Bitch Slaps Phillipe Massa

Not everyone 'gets' formula1. For some, it's bunch of overpaid guys going around and around on a track. For others, it's about their fanatical support for a team or a driver. For still others, it's a colossal waste of money and leaves a curb-stomped carbon foot-print on the environment. However, one thing we can all agree on is that Lewis Hamilton pwned Phillipe Massa at the Hokenheimring last weekend. Not only did Lewis bitch slap Massa, but he made Massa his bitch on that day. Massa could have held his ground and forced Lewis to bump into him, but no, he went onto the grass on two occasions to accommodate Hamilton. Successful race driver have a killer instinct. A never say die, never back down philosophy. Lewis was true to that as he unceremoniously shoved Massa aside. The way Massa went out of his way to avoid contact, he might as well have got down on his knees and licked Hamilton's balls on the podium, and licked Nelson Piquet Jnr's balls too, for good measure. Every driver on the circuit will now know that Phillipe Massa is like a nude, nubile virgin pumped full of GHB, with a shaved beaver, just waiting to be taken at any time, and as many times as you like.

The face of F1 has changed since Michael Schumacher decided to hang up his racing gloves and start making love to his long neglected wife, instead of his racing car mistress. He left a hole in Ferrari that Massa's and Raikkonens' dicks just cannot fill.

"You have 20 teams, with different cars. The fast cars finish in front and the slow cars finish behind. Why would you have any overtaking?"
-David Coulthard.