I Judge You Off Your MySpace

It was inevitable. Saturday morning, The Nurse added me on MySpace.

Remember, I haven't seen this girl without a large about of liquor sloshing around in my belly. If we DID talk, I don't remember anything I said. Anything she said. I don't even really remember what she looks like... I've never seen her in natural light, the most I've seen is under the dark haze of bar lighting.

She might as well be a complete stranger. Ahhhh, the beauty of the serious black out.

I was interested to see what she looked like and, let's be honest, judge the shit out of her based on her MySpace page.

-sigh-

Let's begin:

Pictures: She's not something out of Lord of the Rings (Thank God), but she isn't stunning. I definitely wouldn't have done anything with her if I wasn't intoxicated. I've been told I'm picky. Definitely not anything to write home about. If I were to judge her on the ol' 1 - 10 scale, she'd be a 5.5.

The worst part is... she does "MySpace pictures". You know what I'm talking about. Standing in front of the mirror, looking slightly away from the camera going for that mysterious/pensive look. She has an entire album dedicated to it. Fuck me.

General Layout: Her display name is something like, Sunshinebabysparkles84. Her page takes about 20 years to load because she has so much sparkly pictures that says shit like, "Feel safe at night, sleep with a nurse" and "Fuck the system" it makes me want to castrate myself. She has a part that says "Your Exotic Dancer Name Is". Who does that!?

And she has tons of "punky" pictures of skulls. I think skulls died out with black light capability posters, 8 balls, alien heads, and peace symbols.

Her "About Me": It starts off like a 12 year old's essay "So you wanna know about me huh!?!?!?!?!" I'll spare you the rest. Trust me, you don't want to know.

Music: She gets points for having Flogging Molly as her song.


-dusts hands-

There you have it. Am I an asshole for being so harsh? Perhaps. Am I completely lame for judging this girl based solely off my experience visiting her MySpace? Probably, but at least I can accept that.

I don't think there will be a second rendezvous during the Christmas break.