V.I.P at the Stone Rose

Leo and Kevin were being lame and wanted to drink by themselves at the house, so as I'm walking backwards out our front door, I flipped them off. I wasn't looking forward to going to this alone. I had to attend this going away party for Lindsay.

I'm not one to pay for cover or wait in lines no matter "how sweet the tail is inside". So I'm not used to how you play the whole "line game". Palming money. Having a girl sweet talk the hulking bouncer. You know, that stuff. When I walk up to the Sofitel Hotel, I pinched the bridge of my nose when I notice the large line outside of the bar.

"There's no way I'm getting in here."

Muttering a flurry of cuss words under my breath, a girl pushes her way to the front of the line and speaks to the bouncer; "I'm on the list. My friend Lindsay made reservations". Oh shit! This is my way in! I elbow my way through the collar shirts and tube tops, "Wait! Wait! I'm on that list too!"

I suddenly get a tug on my arm and I hear someone whisper something to me. I turn and it's two girls. They pull me in closer, being fairly aggressive about it.

"We're your guests"
"What?"
"Tell him we're with you. We're your guests."

At this point, I have no idea what to do. I don't want to get kicked out for lying to the bouncer (does that happen??) and I don't even know these girls. And I have seconds to make a decision because he has opened the velvet rope for me. I do the only thing that comes to my mind: I pretend I can't understand them.

"I... uh... dunno... if... uh"

I mumble something that trails off as I quickly duck under the rope and join the girl who is headed to the same party as me.

I can tell immediately why there's a line out front. Every person in here is attractive. And the bartenders (all female) were complete knock outs. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than being in a place like this. I meet up with Lindsay, who is well on her way to taking the first train to Drunkville. It's fun to catch up with her and she introduces me to all of her coworkers. But I don't know anyone else there. I'm can hold a conversation and consider myself pretty sociable, but I definitely felt like an outsider. That awkward guy with a beer in one hand and texting in the other.

New Rule I Learned: Going to a party where you only know ONE person, it's absolutely essential to bring friends.

It sounds pretty obvious, but I don't find myself in that situation very often. I shook hands and learned names, but after that the conversation turned toward other things... that didn't involve me. I didn't stick around too long, took a shot with my friend, wished her good luck in Seattle, and headed back home. Let's hope tonight is a little more eventful.

My liver just shouted "FUCK YOU" to me as soon as I typed that. Shut up, Liver. Stop being a pussy.