That Never Happens

The night before, I drank my insides dry. Fucking Halloween, man. I don't really remember much of the evening, except that I had a tiny flash of memory of me telling a girl that her Hannah Montana outfit "sucked balls" because it doesn't count by just dressing up like a teen girl.

E.g. I was making friends.

Good one, So... good one.

* * *
Ladies. If you know what I was (without cheating!),
I'll marry you on the spot.

I rolled out of my friend Chad's futon, still dressed in my Mega Man outfit and immediately switched into my purple and gold Husky jersey. My friend Tim was expecting me at the tailgate 2 hours ago.

I stuck out like a sore thumb, wading through a sea of maroon and gold. But God bless the USC campus and the beautiful students that roam. God bless them.

The tailgate was fine aside from my pounding headache. A couple of beers went down the hatch to drown out that hangover. Worked like a charm; it always does.

My friend Tim was a great host, he manned the grill and introduced me to all of his graduate peers. They were friendly and didn't give me a hard time for wearing colors of the school that they would inevitably slaughter on the football field.

When it came time to leave for the game, one of Tim's friends tapped me on the shoulder.

Tim's Friend: Hey, bro! What's your name?
So@24: So@24. Nice to meet you.
Tim's Friend: Hey bro hey. One of my friend's friends was asking about you.
So@24: Whoa. Really? ... Wait. A girl right?
Tim's Friend: Uh. Yeah, bro.

-trying to be cool and casual and not to be obvious by looking around-

So@24: Who is she?
Tim's Friend: She left, bro.
So@24: Left? Left?? Why didn't she say anything?
Tim's Friend: She's shy, man. But she said you were cute... kept asking me about "Number 10".
So@24: ... well thanks anyway, Tim's Friend.

That shit NEVER happens to me. But of course, the trail goes cold and I'm left wondering where the fuck my tailgating, 2 min. Cinderella ran off to and what she looked like.

Just like that she was forgotten as quickly as she was introduced.

However, it was a nice little (albeit very, very brief) ego boost.

This reinforces my theory that at this period it's almost crucial that your friends HAVE to throw you a bone and help you out. You're at the mercy of having friends introduce you to their friends and make friends with their friends, etc.

You have to start somewhere by meeting new people and if that means breaking out of your comfort zone by choking down that watered down Bloody Mary despite your raisin-esque innards telling you to "fuck off" just to socialize with a new group of people with the slight chance of meeting a new girl... well...

... "Pass me the lime."