A Recap in Numbers

Time Departed for Party: 10:30 pm
Shots Taken Before Entering Bar: 5
Time Spoken with Janice (cumulative): 6 minutes
Girls' Phone Numbers Acquired by Leo: 1
Girls' Phone Numbers Acquired by Jack: 1
Weight Gained by Janice Since I Last Saw Her: 12-15 lbs

Drinks I Consumed That Weren't Mine (aka Fallen Soldiers): Approx. 6
Times I Ate Shit on my Rollerblades: 2
Strawberries/Gaping, Flesh Wounds on my body: 3
Contents in Stomach at End of Night: 0